I hate current events.
Sorry. I’m cowardly blaming my host here for the lateness because as bad as stability has been on the client side, it’s been that much worse on my side, and even just uploading a little dinky-ass gif and then copying it from one page to another was having about a 1/2 chance to turn into a five minute ordeal of waiting for things to respond at every step. Relatively few sequels/spinoffs this season, but don’t worry, they’re back in full force next season.
Fire Force
Wind Breaker
Killed Slimes Until Maxed Level
My Hero Academia
Aharen
Loser Ranger
Ordinary People
Black Butler
Horse Girls
Bye Bye Earth
I even made it to the end of a couple of those and didn’t swear a blood vendetta against them. Mind you, I wouldn’t say they were good, but they had their… ability to pass a half hour while making me contemplate the insanity of the anime industry. And speaking of which, this is a doozy of a season in a lot of very weird ways, so let’s get to it.
Magical Murder Teenagers
Anthology of Demons
https://kijin-anime.com/
Studio: Yokohama Animation Lab
Genre: Action
Premieres March 31st*
Show Premise:
Dude and his sister are infected by demonic powers and spend generations fighting each other.
Random Thoughts:
AKA Sword of the Demon Hunter in English. I would say that it’s a rare time when incest is treated as a bad thing, but the format is that his obsessed sister becomes the uber demon and spews out a bunch of ‘daughter’ demons that befriend or also try to hate-bang him across the next couple centuries. It’s ‘dark’ fantasy in that a lot of people die and half the characters are prostitutes, but is worth noting that the godawful animation studio (Kingdoms of Ruin, New Gate, etc). Yokohama is, uh… not good. Really, really, really not good. The promos also have no real animation whatsoever, let alone any action scenes. How they keep getting work is a mystery. I’m pretty sure most porn has more care put into its animation that their shows. Don’t hold your breath.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Far too many creepy babies.
Once Upon a Witch’s Death — Final Words and Beginning Tears
https://arumajo-anime.com/
Studio: EMT Squared
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 1st
Show Premise:
Witch girl learns a curse will kill her within a year unless she collects a thousand tears of true joy.
Random Thoughts:
And yes, obviously from the excessively long title, it’s a light novel adaptation, though there’s only two volumes now, so? Uh? don’t expect a fast paced story. Also, I found it funny that while looking stuff up about it, the two most common complaints are that the main character’s gimmick is that she speaks and uses profanity like an old man, and that the ‘twist’ at the end of the novel is given in the frontispiece. A bunch of sappy stories with zero regard to the actual logistics of having to collect a thousand tears in 365 days. Do the math here. That’s making three people cry a day. Even if they didn’t have to be pure joy and you could just slap people around until they cry, word probably gets out about the crazy swearing teenager running around assaulting people by the end of the first month. It’s a bunch of sappy stories about how beautiful life is from a character who is perfection incarnate. No fear of death or anything. Just a sudden extra joie de vivre on top of the already overflowing precociousness and spunk she had all along. The haphazardness and lack of subtlety of the premise do not give me optimism that it’ll actually be genuinely touching emotional tales. Just the usual veneer of them with extra bloom and swelling violins.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Observant Owl notes she’s leaning on thin air.
True Samurai Legend – Yaiba
https://www.yaiba-pr.com/
Studio: Wit Studio
Genre: Action
Premieres April 5th* (Prime time)
Show Premise:
Spunky samurai boy has adventures.
Random Thoughts:
The manga was done by Detective Conan dude before spending the rest of his life trapping a teenager in perpetual adolescence. It had an adaptation decades ago, but is back for a second go, attempting to ride the nostalgia wave of stuff like Ranma and Kenshin. I guess we just have no faith whatsoever in our modern IP or franchises, or maybe that just costs more than dredging up old things. As usual, this is an adaptation that post-hoc declares the previous adaptation crap and that they’ll get it right this time, with extra extra fidelity to the source. The source being a yelly kid yelling about how he’s gonna fight and be the very best samurai there ever was. Thanks, 80s. Truly the pinnacle of anime that we need to be revisiting.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Do we ever revisit the space cowboy phase?
Witch Watch
https://witchwatch-anime.com/
Studio: Bibury Animation Studios
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 6th (Prime Time)
Show Premise:
Dude becomes witch’s familiar.
Random Thoughts:
It’s a pure Jump comedy from the same guy as Sket Dance, so mainly people overreacting. Very, very loudly. Almost completely episodic for quite a while where she typically does some spell, then it has some kind of punny or wordplay side effect, and the whole while, the dude goes “WHAT IS THAT THING THAT YOU DID”. Peak modern anime comedy. Every now and then, it gets serious, in the same way that Keroro would get serious, but… well, expect about the same level of everything as you would from Keroro since it’s a prime time comedy, so will be at maximum Jump, which means maximum volume and going “BWAAAAAGH” for jokes.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Just horsing around.
A Ninja and Assassin Live Together
https://ninkoro.jp/
Studio: Shaft
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 10th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Shimbo’s not involved with this one, so don’t expect any Shaft craziness in the direction. The manga is short form comedy where the assassin girl deadpan stabs people or appears covered in blood, while everybody else is either a ditzy idiot or exists solely to declare some ninja cliche and then overreact to it. It’s not the worst form of recent anime comedy, mostly the one character being deadpan and competent part, but it’s not breaking the mold either as this stuff was stale even when Punie or Dokuro did it, and just stabbing is pretty watered down these days, if it even goes that far.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Ya got any BBQ sauce?
It’s Nice To Have a Hobby Instead of Writing a Script
Catch Me at the Ballpark!
https://anime-ballpark.com/
Studio: EMT Squared
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 1st
Show Premise:
Girl works at a ballpark.
Random Thoughts:
This is another short form manga where each chapter is about seven pages. I guess the 4-panel things required coming up with too many ‘gags’. It’s about 90% just following one particular beer girl as she gets flustered by… pretty much everything. Every now and then, a chapter follows someone else working at the stadium, but it’s the same format. I… uh, guess there’s one awkward dude that it does the whole flirty Hooters girl kind of thing around, but this is the kind of thing that takes ten pages to work up to a joke of her saying “I have no idea what social media is! Help me make a fan account for myself!” as a punchline. Unless the adaptation goes really off the rails like Milky Holmes or Galaxy Angel, I don’t think this is going to be a gripping vocational comedy. I guess at least it’s an actual job and engages with it on at least SOME level, unlike “exists in an office and shuffles paperwork” as so many of these are. Now that’s realism.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Yay alcohol.
Rock and Roll is for Ladies
https://rocklady.rocks/
Studio: Bandai Namco Pictures
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 3rd
Show Premise:
Rich girls play rock and roll.
Random Thoughts:
Well, not really. I think the artist just likes to draw drumming and guitar-ing. Once every thirty pages, someone references a rock band, but that’s about as much as it has to do with music in general. It’s really just a club thing with the standard rich girls setting where they get a bit sweaty or sweary every now and then. Even that’s not unusual though since half of these are sport related and nobody’s having to deal with lacross or modern dance without at least some profanity. Standard hand-wavey “Oh, I totally feel your crazy passion that radiates like an aura” type of deal where you could substitute playing a guitar for crocheting and only have to do a few minor tweaks to a few pages to have a totally different club. At least it might be well animated given it’s Bandai? Or maybe not. They have a zillion studios these days and who can keep them straight.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Heavy metal harpistry.
#Compass 2.0 – Combat Providence Analysis System
https://www.compass-anime.com/
Studio: Lay-duce
Genre: Action
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
Teenagers play capture the flag.
Random Thoughts:
Comes from a particularly trashy gacha franchise that’s about 75% just a place to dump a bunch of random IPs, but I guess once you’ve already whored out your characters to fifty seven random-ass guest appearances, what’s another seventy two? The game itself is just a stripped down 3v3 MOBA. The anime? No idea. It already had a series of shorts done by a bunch of guest studios a couple years back, but this is a full fledged show, at least as much as any of these things are. Do the gacha for your super buddy, and then buddy fight all the other buddies to be the destined buddy champion of buddies. Can you be the buddiest of buddies, or will you not be able to collect all the friendship energy?
Preseason Swing Rating:
Scorpi-man, I choose you.
Good Food Every Day
https://hibimeshi.com/
Studio: PA Works
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 12th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Oh boy. It’s been a hot minute, but here’s PA Works back with an original show about… eating? The promos are nothing but girls smiling at the camera or taking bites of food and then glowing with the power of deliciousness. Don’t think that the weird mascot is doing some kind of Ratatouille magical creature thing either. That’s a vlogger mascot character in-universe. And it’s the brain child of the same dude as Non Non Biyori, another show about “cute girls exist.” Uh… They’re girls in “eating club.” That’s all I’ve got, and I very much suspect that’s all that it’s got too, as if you didn’t get those exact things as a staple cliche of literally every anime ever made.
Preseason Swing Rating:
At least eat something exciting.
Journey Back to the T&A of 2006
Please Put Them On, Takamine
https://takaminesan.com/
Studio: Liden Films
Genre: Fanservice
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
Girl can rewind time by removing her underwear.
Random Thoughts:
Dude gained immunity when he saw her bush, so now she makes him put on her underwear. Just trashy fanservice. Trashy fanservice centered on specifically taking off/putting on underwear. Well, to be fair, it’s mostly him imagining her in various fetish cosplays while she lounges in her underwear or rubs on him as he stammers and panics that she can’t ACTUALLY be hitting on him. Repeat. Or sometimes someone else imagines them having sex so you get a few full page spreads of that. And there’s nipples! Ooooh. Aaaah. There’s not a lot of attempts at comedy is the takeaway. I opened to a random page and it was just her giving a boobjob to his hand for multiple straight pages while he went “What could this POSSIBLY MEAN!?” I guess maybe that’s the joke? Hilarious.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Sex should involve a minimum number of clowns. Or maximum.
Can a Girl And a Guy Just Be Friends? (No Way!)
https://danjoru.com/
Studio: JC Staff
Genre: Fanservice
Premieres April 4th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Or to use the LN volume 1’s actual full title: “Can a Girl And a Guy Just Be Friends? (No Way!) — Flag 1: So If You’re Still Single at 30, Why Not Just Choose Me?” I’m exhausted just having to type that out, and I think my ear is leaking blood. It’s trashy harem manic pixie girl nonsense. She climbs all over him like a slug, slime trail included, but oh, there’s also this girl he had a crush on before he met her, and his overly-handsy sister too. Which one will he choose from this buffet of girl lasagna set before him? He’s stammering and getting flustered? Boy, however will he deal with all these silly horny girls out for his precious seed. Tune in each week as he keeps staving off an erection despite their best efforts.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Abandon your impure thirst, harlots.
The Noble Girl Blessed By the Gorilla God is Adored By the Royal Knights
https://gorillalady-anime.com/
Studio: Diomedea
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Can’t just have trashy harems of girls, so here’s one with a harem of boys. The premise is just an excuse to drop her into knight school to be surrounded by surly pretty boys, and so that she can accidentally crush apples or punch down doors for a sight gag here and there. Otherwise, it’s a very standard bishie harem affair where she’s just an insecure wallflower who’s flustered by all these pointy-chinned shiny men lavishing their attention on her, both bending the knee and being too much of a bad boy to respect her (but goddamn it, despite themselves, they do). They’re all helpfully color coded too, so no matter which color of the rainbow you prefer, you’ve got options.
Preseason Swing Rating:
But what does the guinea pig god give you?
Summer Pockets
https://summerpockets-anime.jp/
Studio: feel
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
Dude goes to island full of quirky slightly magic sad girls.
Random Thoughts:
Oh boy. Key. It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? I can’t say that I missed their brand of harem or writing, even if I’d rather see a return to it over another ten years of cheat power RPGs. It’s the same as Kanon, Clannad, Air, Little Busters, etc. Dude returns to a remote place filled with quirky yet melancholic teenage girls with just a little bit of supernatural who will each can only be healed, one at a time in sequence, by having attention paid to them by a dullard protagonist. At least one will make some random noise like “auu” or “uguu” or “AUFMERKSAMKEIT”. There’s also a Pokemon side-game. Seventeen years ago, I wrote an entire series of posts about weird Key doujin games. And now, here we are. They don’t exactly have the same otaku cachet as they used to, and I’m not too nostalgic for it.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Remember Clannad Spelunker? I do.
The Shiunji Family Children
https://shiunjifamily.com/
Studio: Dogakobo
Genre: Fanservice
Premieres April 8th
Show Premise:
Dude finds out he’s adopted and his five sisters all want to bang him.
Random Thoughts:
Another winner, no doubt, from the same guy who wrote Rent-a-Girlfriend. Yeah, I remember when this garbage was so much of the rage that even stuff like Sister Princess existed, a show about being exiled to an entire island of adopted horny teenage girls, each with their own gimmick and unique way of saying “brother.” Or Happy Lesson, combining incest with wanting to bang a teacher. Or Kiss x Sis. Anyway, my point is, I think all the blood has been squeezed out of this particular fetish stone. For far too many years already. Clearly we haven’t learned from our past sins though, because we’re taking another whack at it. And not with a sledgehammer like I’d prefer. Not even the post-modern approach where they’re all deranged. It’s just a bog-standard harem where they’re all his adopted sisters.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Free tentacle for all takers.
Fantasy/Science Fiction Crime Solving
Your Forma
https://www.yourforma-anime.com/
Studio: Geno Studio
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
Cyberpunk cops solve crime.
Random Thoughts:
She’s a human girl who’s too good at cyber-mind-hacking and nearly robotic. He’s a snarky android that’s more human than humans. They do… pretty much very standard cyberpunk stuff. What is the nature of man. Do androids dream of electric shetland ponies. Sure is a lot of information out there. Let’s all jack in together. Well, nothing wrong with the cliches, and I’d rather staid cyberpunk procedural over *waves hands wildly* other things going on this season. But it’s still not one of my favorite genres and anime rarely does procedurals or mysteries well. Nor do the promos show off a lot of fun Shadowrun style run and gunning as much as just… standard heads talking and plugging wires into people, or brushing back hair to reveal a circuit board. Tropes are tropes, but a little creativity or visual flair would still be nice.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Seriously. Where’s my gatling samurai?
The Mystery Will Be Solved After Dinner
https://nazod-anime.com/
Studio: Madhouse
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 4th
Show Premise:
Rich girl’s butler solves mysteries.
Random Thoughts:
The format of this is that the girl’s tells the butler about the case as she eats, and he solves it on the spot. Like all good detectives do. They just hear about a case second hand and then arrest somebody. Even Phoenix Wright would be ashamed of this criminal process, and he relies on a family of lunatic psychics and a criminal amount of peyote. To be fair, it’s not a very serious affair, and the mysteries are all very short in the format of more Encyclopedia Brown rapid fire half-dozen per volume Murder on the Nile. I do think I may have already extracted the maxmimum amount of amusement I can from this franchise by watching a promo of its now eleven year old live version, which appears to be going for less of a mystery vibe and more of… how to put it… a Scooby Doo movie with twice as much camp. So perhaps it’s really pushing for the “so bad that it’s good” schtick, which rarely works out, though the promos did look like it was played much more straight.
Preseason Swing Rating:
At least it has layers.
Professor Chuuzenji’s Lectures on Monsters — The Professor Will Solve the Mystery
https://chuzenji-anime.jp/
Studio: 100studio
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Speaking of Scooby Doo, this is… pretty much that, minus the disturbingly sentient great dane, which admittedly is an integral part. Mysteries happen that are purported to be supernatural affairs, but grumpy guy always solves them by explaining how they’re just crotchety old man Murphy trying to chase off kids. Technically, this franchise has been around for a while. It’s by the same guy and shares the same characters/world as Summer of the Ubume, the sequel of which had an anime series (Mouryou no Hako). This is the more kid friendly spinoff series where he instead recruits a spunky teenage girl and half of the mysteries are like “My friend saw a ghost in the toilet!” Which is to say, do not expect too many actual crimes, let alone Summer of Ubume’s parade of rapists, mutilations, or collective spontaneous mass hypnosis. Yes, that is an actual thing that Ubume uses to explain how there were no witnesses in a crowded room. I may not have much respect for this guy as a mystery writer. What’s new?
Preseason Swing Rating:
Not even a little supernatural? Just for fun?
Cheat Power Reincarnation: Final V4.8.2c (For Real)
The Beginning After the End
https://saikyo2dome-tbate.com/
Studio: studio A-CAT
Genre: Being Bad
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
King is reincarnated and has cheat powers.
Random Thoughts:
Retitled in Japanese as “What Will You Do In Your Second Life, Strongest King?” Which sums up the entire thing. It’s just more reincarnation cheat power garbage, just with a western provenance instead of Japanese or Korean. Same as ever. Reincarnated, immediately gains harem of demihumans pledged to servitude, which is okay because he’s a respectful pet owner of a cat/dragon, but he’s the only one with any agency, and can use all powers at maxmium level, yada yada yada. It’s A-CAT too, and they’re a horrendous studio, and this will be their fourth cheat power reincarnation show since 2022 with another after it already confirmed. And the promo certainly gets across how little effort there will be, especially with the tagline “Reincarnated… AS A BABY!?” As opposed to reincarnated as a… what, exactly? A trout? A bathhouse? Anime’s already done those too. There is no hope here. Wait. The promo image says “Season 1”? There’s DEFINITELY only despair.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Gaze not into the abyss lest it gaze back.
I’m the Evil Overlord of a Galactic Empire
https://seikankokka-anime.com/
Studio: Quad
Genre: Slave Ownership
Premieres April 5th (Early 2 episode premiere)
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
This is, of course, a reincarnation cheat power thing, but in SPACE, so it’s totally different. Like how he has a slave android instead of a slave elf. And a slave princess instead of a slave princess. And a slave knight instead of a…. hold on, I’m starting to suspect this isn’t different at all. Everybody wants to bang him. All his ‘evil’ acts end up bringing true utopia, making even more people want to bang him. And if this doesn’t have any red flags to you yet somehow, there’s also a metric-assload of weird gender stuff too. Both in the flavor of the protagonist forcing his slave harem members who prefer pants to wear dresses just out of spite, and various drugs/sci-fi magic surgeries that let genders flip flop for ‘hilarious’ shenanigans, like drugging people to swap sexes to find out if they just admire him or want to bang him. It’s both. It’s always both. We’re hitting ALL the high points with this one. Yes, I wrote this before the first two episodes were released. No I don’t feel like I need to make any changes aside from this post-note.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Un-mustached Mario is the only acceptable forced gender swap.
Theogonia
https://teogonia-anime.com/
Studio: Asahi Production
Genre: Beginner’s Atomic Chemistry
Premieres April 11th
Show Premise:
Reincarnated dude has cheat powers.
Random Thoughts:
Officially misromanized without the ‘h’, which annoys me. It’s Greek, damn it. Theogony is a famous poem by Hesiod. Not that it has anything to do with Greek mythology. It is kind of an odd duck. He doesn’t remember his preincarnation life at all. He just suddenly realizes one day that he was reincarnated, and the only thing that he can remember is middle school science class. It’s essentially just an excuse for him to know that he can use magic on cells to give himself super healing and super strength, or interact with things on a molecular level, letting him disintegrate whatever he feels like, but nobody else knows molecular biology so only he gets to do it. It’s really just cheat power with a marginally different flavor… aside from the eight hundred times this has been exactly how the cheat power works. He uses his cheat powers to… crush and embarrass the rigid nobility who are using the same powers, but not cheaty, to oppress everybody. …Yep.
Preseason Swing Rating:
What ever happened to a hero’s journey?
Kicked Out of the Title For The Title Being Too Long That It Breaks All Formatting On An Old Blog That Can’t Handle This Kind of Stupidity
The Genius Healer Who Could Heal Anything Instantly Was Kicked Out For Being Useless and Now Lives Happily as an Underground Healer
https://sh-anime.shochiku.co.jp/yamihealer/
Studio: Makaria
Genre: Trash
Premieres April 3rd
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
He heals people so fast that they don’t even realize they were ever hurt, so he’s kicked out. Then he gets an elf slave girl who pledges her eternal loyalty. And his new house has a ghost girl who pledges her eternal loyalty. Then he… you get the picture. Somehow, we avoided having a zillion cheat power reincarnation shows this season, but ended up with like six different shows about having cheat powers natively and being kicked out of the party. Is this the way the anime industry is turning? Traffic control got good enough in Japan that people stopped being hit by trucks and now just have cheat powers out of the box? It’s taken ten years and all we’ve done is cut out the truck.
Preseason Swing Rating:
An apple a day.
An Old Man From the Sticks Becomes a Swordsmaster: I was Just a Sword Instructor in the Middle of Nowhere But My Students Wouldn’t Leave Me Be
http://ossan-kensei.com/
Studio: Passione
Genre: Boob Windows
Premieres April 5th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Remember that show last season about a dude kicked from a party and then is recruited by his hot teenage girl students who all want to bang him? This is literally the exact same goddamned thing. He was never NOT a swordsmaster. He got hurt one time, told he needed to retire, and wandered off until his harem of D cup teenage students drag him back. But totally platonically. With the shortest of hot pants and tits all the way out. Platonically. He then embarrasses all the best warriors and wizards easily in the first volume with his magic analysis eyes and being super duper awesome at everything. See, he doesn’t fight to win, he fights to not lose, therefore, he always wins. Stop making even cheat power things look creative, anime industry. Don’t worry, there’s zero sword fighting whatsoever, but definitely a lot of blushing as they wiggle their boobs.
Preseason Swing Rating:
But where’s a man to platonically bathe with me?
The Unaware Atelier Meister — Yet Another Common Story About a Handyman Support With SSS Ranked Skills in Everything Except Combat Who’s Kicked Out of the Hero’s Party
https://kanchigai-pr.com/
Studio: EMT Squared
Genre: Gag Me With a Pizza Cutter
Premieres April 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Yes, that is actually the title. The title itself calls out that it is just another stupid goddamned cliche. This is a selling point. I’m going to repeat that. It proudly declaring itself to be a tired copy of other things is a selling point. The best possible outcome is that it’s some kind of crazy-ass rugpull like Milky Holmes and just absolute nonsense wearing this garbage’s skin. But just glancing at the promos removes any doubt. Every single one of the girls is naked around him, mostly oohing and aahing over how he treats them just like any other girl, which makes them extra horny. Moving on, because there’s still another goddamned one of these to go.
Preseason Swing Rating:
This is what moe is now.
The Saint is Too Perfect To Be Charming So Her Fiance Rejects Her and Sells Her to Another Kingdom
https://kanpekiseijo-anime.com/
Studio: TROYCA
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 9th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Yep. The prince and her parents hate her because she’s too pretty and good and beloved by everybody. And she’s shocked when she arrives at the new kingdom and everybody loves her for being pretty and good and perfect at everything. Everything being her job of… existing and being a magical figurehead that brings peace. It’s that kind of trash-ass story where everybody’s a petty ass for no good reason and she’s just the most innocentest nicest Mary Sue cinnamon roll who wiffles and waffles as everybody else fusses over what a good girl she is. Supposedly it follows her sister quite a bit too, who is slightly less flawless and is therefore acceptable, and her quest for petty revenge on the people who didn’t understand her sister’s perfect perfection, but that doesn’t sound any better to me. Unless somebody’s getting stabbed, I have zero hopes.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Way to make idols look nuanced.
The Really Weird Stuff Comes After the Apocalypse
Kowloon Generic Romance
https://kowloongr.jp/anime/index.html
Studio: Arvo Animation
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 5th
Show Premise:
Girl meets guy in Kowloon.
Random Thoughts:
First off, Kowloon was an actual city in China; a literal fort that was leased to Britain and was essentially lawless until it was demolished about 30 years ago. This is presented as an alternate history version where it… uh… wasn’t, though minor spoilers here, but it gets pretty weird and much more science fictiony as things progress. That said, the manga is definitely not Twin Peaks. More that every third chapter or so, it gets distracted and goes “So, anyway, how about those clones, and isn’t the alternate history future re-enactment synergy reploid plan crazy?” and then goes back to shots of the main lady in her underwear smoking on a balcony with detached ennui as she wonders if she should hit on the co-worker with really big hair. I have no idea what this is really going for, and I don’t think it really knows either.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Checking out your walls.
Lazarus
https://lazarus.aniplex.co.jp/
Studio: Mappa
Genre: Action
Premieres April 6th
Show Premise:
Dude invents a miracle drug that everybody in the world takes, then reveals it kills you in three years. Lady puts together a special team of rad dudes to find him and a cure.
Random Thoughts:
A completely original show from Shinichiro Watanabe, so Cowboy Bebop comparisons are going to abound. It already doesn’t seem to have the same artistic flair or musical strength, but is definitely trying to evoke the same style. The promos do have quite a bit of chase scenes, shoot outs, and martial artsing, and it has been in production for years, so the production probably won’t collapse after a couple episodes like most Mappa shows. If there’s any show to be optimistic about, it’s definitely this one.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Oh wow. We actually are getting a space cowboy show.
Apocalypse Hotel
https://apocalypse-hotel.jp/
Studio: Cygames Production
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 8th
Show Premise:
Robots continue to take care of a hotel after the apocalypse.
Random Thoughts:
Yes, yes. Sad android girl because she’s unable to fulfill her purpose of serving humanity, but is tragically beautiful for naively continuing to take care of a hotel. This is also original, but doesn’t have any interesting names on the staff unless the assistant director of Princess Connect or the writer of Zombie Land Saga counts? And the promos are 80% closeups of the girl’s eyes and 10% her standing in the wind, looking out over the ruined landscape. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to be goofy slapstick at any rate, but hell if I could tell you anything more than that.
Preseason Swing Rating:
I prefer the Megaman X robot apocalypse.
Mobile Suit Gundam GQuuuuuuX
https://www.gundam.info/feature/gquuuuuux/
Studio: Sunrise
Genre: Action
Premieres April 8th
Show Premise:
Teenagers pilot giant robots.
Random Thoughts:
This has a theatrical prologue that showed up in theaters in February, even in the US, but there’s no way I’m going to that. I think that the movie will become the first few episodes, but it’s not hugely clear. It’s an original, obviously, and takes place in an alternate history version of the original Gundam, but my Gundam knowledge is 90% from Super Robot Wars and I haven’t touched any of those for at least ten years. I think I got any Gundam urges out of my system with Witch From Mercury which left a bad enough taste in my mouth to not be very tempted by another bite at the apple, especially with a weirdly high number of other promising original action shows this season. I guess we’ll see, but it’s Gundam. You’re probably on board already or not. It’s not an unknown. And no, I have no idea what the title means, or how to pronounce it. I imagine it’s the sound an upset ungulate makes when you startle it.
Preseason Swing Rating:
GQUUUUUUUX!
MuuMuu the Alien
https://ucyujin-mumu.com/
Studio: OLM
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 9th
Show Premise:
Cat aliens who killed everyone intelligent on their planet come to Earth to learn science.
Random Thoughts:
Eh. I struggle to feel much of anything here, positive or negative. It just looks like an incredibly generic anime comedy. What if cat was alien. Okay, but the ‘alien’ things it does are… act like a person and be dumb, so you’re really just describing most anime cats, as well as Keroro and all of its own spinoffs. I genuinely wonder if the people who make these things actually own cats, or dogs, or anything given how their idea of wacky cat stuff seems to mainly be looking at videos of them on TikTok, which is one of the ‘cat’ jokes it does in the promos. They understand cats are weird and do weird things that AREN’T TikTok dances, right? Fidelity to the source is worshipped as godliness for everything but actual pet (and child) behavior. I think Potemayo was the most realistic show about owning a pet, if for nothing else other than having it accidentally pee all over you and pick fights with clocks. I don’t have a point here. I’m just slowly going insane.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Express my anal glands, Kevin.
The Idol Industry Hungers Once More
CLASSIC♦STARS
https://classicstars-anime.com/
Studio: Platinum Vision
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 5th
Show Premise:
Dudes have the talent of famous musicians magically implanted into them.
Random Thoughts:
A typical boy band show where the gimmick is that everybody’s named after a classical musician, so you can ship Mozart with Bach with Beethoven while Vivaldi watches. The really sad part is that they gave up after about five dudes, and then started doing “Lost” versions of them, so there’s a Beethove, AND a Lost Beethoven that’s a complete separate character. Good luck keeping that straight on your relationship web. Or even telling who is who. You might actually have something here if you made them the actual Beethoven, powdered wigs and all, but no. They just ‘carry on their spirit,’ and everybody knows that Mozart was big into pop music and thrusting his hips at other dudes in ugly-ass CGI.
Preseason Swing Rating:
God help us in 2060 when anime has bishified Spongebob.
Maebashi Witches
https://maebashi-witches.com/
Studio: Sunrise
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 6th
Show Premise:
Witches are in Maebashi.
Random Thoughts:
A magic frog gives a collection of girls magical powers in order to… be idols. And by be idols, I mean drive tourism to Maebashi. This is ‘original’, really stretching the definition of the word, so there’s not anything to go on but the banal promos of teenage girls sparkling and CGI dancing. Extra ugly CGI dancing. Come visit Maebashi. We have idols and… magic frogs? I mean, you could actually market the second part there. Come enjoy our wide collection of psychodelic toads that teenagers get high off licking. Now that could be a genuine show. Just a bunch of kids getting high off their asses with amphibian abuse. I’d certainly rather watch it than another idol/tourism advertisement.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Go on. Lick me.
Princession Orchestra
https://princess-session.com/
Studio: Silver Link
Genre: Copyright Infringement
Premieres April 6th(ish)
Show Premise:
Magic girls fight monsters.
Random Thoughts:
In case you thought this just happened to look like Pretty Cure, it’s being produced by one of their rivals (Tomy) and airs literally right after Pretty Cure on Sunday mornings, which is late evening US time. So it isn’t just TRYING to look like Pretty Cure, it’d probably kidnap it, skin it, and wear the carcass if it could get away with it. The Sunday morning airtime also does not lead me to believe that the kind of wacky Silver Link connection, along with some of the original Symphogear guys, not to mention Silver Link’s goofiest ex-Shaft director, is going to lead to anything good. It just wants in on Pretty Cure’s market, and is as minimally legally distinct as it needs to be to get away with it. I’m open to being surprised, as I do still think back fondly at times to ZKC, which was also in this timeslot, I just very much do not expect it given the extra emphasis is on how much singing and dancing they do over fisticuffs, which is already missing the big appeal of almost all of the more well regarded Pretty Cure iterations.
Preseason Swing Rating:
100% original design, do not steal.
Flower Doll* -Reinterpretation of Flowering-
https://hanadoll-anime.com/
Studio: A-Real
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 9th
Show Premise:
Dudes try to become the idolest idol.
Random Thoughts:
Actually, it’s much creepier than that. The world has too many idols, so a grand plan began to create only the most best and perfect idol, so they’re all genetically engineered to be the perfect twink, and have a special magical flower seed implanted in their brains that only blooms when they’ve achieved peak idolness. …Idolhood? Idolatry? Or have their first boner. Who can say? Obviously another gacha boy collector. With flower overtures. Which is already all of them. Also, if you already have too many idols, why are you mass-producing more idols? I’m sorry, but my suspension of disbelief is completely shattered. I can no longer get into this. There’s not even a single monocle.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Now that’s sexy fauna.
Visit New Places And Be Amazed At Nothing
Anne Shirley
https://anime-ann-e.jp/
Studio: The Answer Studio
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 5th*
Show Premise:
Orphan girl is adopted.
Random Thoughts:
A new adaptation of Anne of Green Gables. Already not a thrilling story, but let’s also remember that this isn’t the first adaptation, and the ‘classic’ anime that’s older than even me was such a laborious and stretched out affair that it covered about 10 pages per episode. Stop and think about that for a moment. Then pause for three or four minutes. Then read that sentence a second time. That’s about the pace things go at with this adaptations of ‘classic’ literature that wrench a 200 page book into 52 episodes. And this ain’t some quaint BBC adaptation where the scullerymaids are snarky and everybody’s a bit of a smug wisecracker. Oh, no no no. This is THE SPRING OF YOUTH.
Preseason Swing Rating:
75% chance to contract dysentery.
Random Trip
https://zatsutabi.com/
Studio: Makaria
Genre: Tourism Advertisement
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
Struggling girl goes on a trip.
Random Thoughts:
Officially translated for reasons I can’t even begin to understand as “That’s Journey”, this is another tourist ad deal masquerading as an actual manga/anime. Each chapter is about six pages long where she visits some local attraction, a whole page where she oohs and aahs over it along with a wikipedia blurb about it on the side, and then she makes a happy face and says how awesome it was. And it’s on to the next third largest ball of twine in the next prefacture over before visiting the spot where Emperor Hirohito once coughed on a grasshopper. Aaaand, yep. That’s what the promos are too. Look, I understand Rick Steves is an irresestible stallion of a man, and not every culture can have one, but ya gotta get this out of your system, Japan. Or just make a literal Rick Steves anime. And if I accidentally will that into being, I pledge to watch it. I’m playing with fire just to feel something here.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Behold, a Waffle House.
stuff
https://mono-weekend.photo/
Studio: Soigne
Genre: Tourism Advertisement
Premieres April 12th
Show Premise:
Girls are in a camera club.
Random Thoughts:
Remember Laid-Back Camp? By the same person and the same format, except now about taking pictures/filming instead of camping. A four panel deal where characters vaguely talk about their hobby and then smile every fourth panel to indicate that the scene is done. Maybe emitting sparklies too. No story. No development. No plot. No friction. Girls in a club. You’d think with fewer of them, it might make the ones that exist more unique, but it just highlights how utterly banal they always were, and there’s not even worse flavors of the same thing, like girls in a newspaper reading club, to contrast with to make any stand out. Not even a distinctive art style like particularly wide faces. Nada.
Preseason Swing Rating:
All the excitement of a rock.
Wrapup:
Definitely a different kind of season. Thankfully. Could we finally be over the hump of cheat power RPG reincarnations? …Actually, glancing at next season, it feels like we might be, or at least in a transitional period where all fantasy becomes “is kicked from the party but has cheat powers.” That and sequels. Holy hell, there are so many sequels next season. Well, that’s a problem for future me. This season has quite a lot of sci fi, originals, and original sci fi, and while, sure, I’m more of a knight-errant with a side of eyecandy kind of diner, it definitely can’t be worse than the last couple. He said, tempting fate immensely. And who knows, with shows like Bye Bye Earth coming back for another go, maybe it can be so bad that it becomes mentally stimulating just attempting to comprehend what the hell they’re trying to do. Now that’s entertainment.
See you Monday, unless another early premiere pops up that I missed or forgot about while internet instability was driving me mad. Hopefully my damned site will be functional again by then.
