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Blue Archive #01 — Lack of Military Intelligence


That’s far too much bad anime for one day.

I’ve had past enough for now. I’ll deal with the crow show from yesterday later. I need to… not watch bad anime for at least a few hours and get some sun or something.


The bloody, dramatic opening gave me a little bit of hope, only for the rest of the episode to dash it against the rocks. I’m not even sure what this is going for. Maybe fans of the game can tell me. There’s few attempts at jokes in any form, so not that. The script and setting is all over the place, and while I normally am fine with a light touch, it’s not like it skimped on the pointless exposition where characters re-explain things they already know to each other. It was just happening in the background of animal people roaming the streets, a global apocalypse, a bunch of kids taking on a huge debt to squat at an abandoned school, and gangs of everybody roaming the streets with airsoft guns for no particular reason. Also, all girls have halos. It really seems like the pull here is: has girls. 

The real nail in the coffin came at the end though, when the nameless self-insert protagonist took the stage boldly yelled things like “Do you care about things?” and “Try shooting them.” Brilliant master of strategy here. I know my gag harem strategists, and you’re no Tact Meyers. It didn’t help that they were going up against storm troopers either, so the ‘action’ scene was just them standing in the open under a hail of impotent gunfire that was never hitting them anyway while they whined about not having enough supplies while… having more than enough supplies and not struggling in any way. Is this supposed to be the part of the game where you have to pull extra characters for backup? That’s the only thing I can think that would make any sense.


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