After a fairly weak little run of episodes, that was a nice rebound for Ame to Kimi to. Not perfect, but squarely back in the groove of what this show can do well. I think this is one of those series that fares better when it keeps its focus narrow rather than trying to go wide. It’s more interesting as an internal exploration than an external one, and thus benefits when it avoids too many extraneous entanglements.
One of the themes Ame to Kimi to has dipped a toe into is the experience of being a writer. Well, it swan dives into that pool this week, and benefits from it. Fuji is taking the project Hiura-san proposed to her last time. We start with a conference call, where she uses Kimi to deflect her social anxiety over the experience. Pets photobombing Zoom calls became endemic with the pandemic of course, and sometimes it’s even intentional like this. But how often do they make an origami boat? And no one seems to find this especially odd, which takes us into suspension of disbelief territory.
Writing isn’t easy. It sounds obvious, but most people who don’t write don’t really grasp the truth of it. I sympathize with Fuji-san’s frustration over peoples’ reactions when they hear what she does for a job. “How lucky!” “I wish I had passive income.” “It’s great you can do something you love for a living”. Writing is anything but passive income, dammit. It’s really damn hard – for most of us, anyway. And most writers don’t love it – that’s the hard truth. Like Fuji I love books and reading, but I don’t really love writing. Sometimes I genuinely hate it, in fact. For me and I think a lot of people, it’s much more a compulsion than a labor of love. Love it or hate it, if I didn’t do it I’d go crazy.
There are plenty of extroverted writers, just as there are some who genuinely do love it and for whom it comes relatively easily. But they’re the exception I think, and there’s a lot of crossover between being a writer and being an introvert. It’s a solitary pursuit, and it lends itself to solitary personalities. I think this episode does a really good job of showing how hard this is for Fuji-san – and how much help Kimi is when that’s the case. When the words won’t come, when you can’t connect the dots in your mind, you want to do anything but stare at the keyboard. It’s an existential anxiety that’s quite unlike any other I know.
I also liked the fact that we got a little more insight into Fuji’s struggles with social anxiety. Again, Kimi (as a pet can be, especially a cat) is a big help here. And it seems like Fuji-san’s ability to let her friends in has improved as she’s gotten older – implying it was a major problem before. But she’s not a person at home in the company of other people. Even when she’s with them, she’s thinking about being by herself (or with Kimi). The conversation she has with Ren about solo traveling reflects this. The idea is appealing, and she knows she’ll be glad if she has the experience. But when she starts thinking about it, the stress kicks in. Home is so comfortable, after all.
This was anime’s second trip to the Canal Cafe in the past year (Rika – another introvert with social anxiety – met her Mom there in Kekkon suru tte, Hontou desu ka). It makes me sorry I never visited when I lived walking distance from it in Kagurazaka, but it always seemed a bit froofy and expensive. I confess I find Ren and her helium voice to be incredibly annoying, but that was really the only discordant note in an otherwise very solid episode for me. Not many anime can be as deep and reflective as Ame to Kimi to, and in the final analysis that makes up for a lot.
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