Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am delighted to be returning to a long-dormant adventure, as we continue to navigate the dramatic twists and turns of Thunderbolt Fantasy’s third season. Having dealt with death cults, demon lords, murder princesses, and even a goddamn dragon over the show’s first two seasons, Shang and his allies now stand in dangerous disarray, ill-prepped for the simultaneous machinations of Ming Huang’s divine swarm, Xing Hai and her sister-sword, and whatever the fuck Murder Princess and her new cyborg ally are up to.
Fortunately, we’ve still theoretically got Lin on our side, and boy is he having fun with this one. The Enigmatic Gale is fully in his element at the moment, forging bonds with fresh would-be villains and utterly infuriating Xing Hai in the process. The delicate alliance of convenience between the Divine Swarm’s allies makes it easy for Lin to play characters like the genuinely honor-driven Jun Po and utterly malice-driven Xing Hai against each other; if anything, I assume he’d complain that such foes are too simple, lacking the complexity of motivation necessary for him to really yank the floor out from under them. Nonetheless, he can at least console himself in the knowledge that his vile Nendoroid is pissing off Shang and the others, who have enough trouble as it is without suffering through Lin’s pint-sized provocations. With alliances forging and crumbling by the second, let’s see where today’s adventures take us!
Episode 7
Right, how could I have forgotten this profoundly extra OP. I can see why Urobuchi has spent so much time crafting his Thunderbolt Fantasy dramas; this production really lets him revel in the two extreme poles of his fascinations, combining sincere, bombastic action spectacle with circuitous, genre-savvy and philosophically-minded explorations of archetypes and ethics
We begin back in the Void Junction, where Xing Hai is feeling understandably upset that her human allies have so swiftly embraced Lin as a fellow comrade. He’s the fucking Enigmatic Gale! He always does the same fucking thing! How do these stupid goddamn humans not GYAAAAH, I’m gonna talk to my sword
“A disgustingly toxic insect has wormed its way into my den, stinging my partners, and driving them mad.” Yep, that’s Lin for you. I also like how this metaphor echoes and undercuts the insect theming of the Divine Swarm – they might consider themselves a foul plague of insects, but Xing Hai knows what a real infestation looks like
Also nice to get reacquainted with this show’s distinctive character acting. Xing Hai announces everything like it is the dictate of a queen, with lots of elaborate swoops and hand gestures
Xing Hai reveals that within the Void Junction, which is already sort of an amplifier for any magical abilities, it may be possible to manipulate time and space at will. Sure, we’ve already introduced cyborgs, let’s get some time travel in here
“Could it be that you’re talking about defying causality itself?” The Seven Blasphemous Deaths might be an evil sword bent on the corruption of mankind, but even it knows not to mess with time travel
“The apex of heretic sorcery!” It makes sense; I assume what makes any sorcery “heretical” is the degree to which it could corrupt reality, and there’s no surer way to corrupt reality than to introduce a causal conflict between the past and present. Any mistake would destroy reality, which I’m sure sounds like an added bonus to Xing Hai
I like how the Seven Blasphemous Deaths is just sort of lounging on a high branch. Hard to convey a sword resting casually
For a power source, she plans to rely on the infinite power of the Demon Realm. Thus she must lean on her sister’s higher standing in the demonic aristocracy
Her sister recommends hitting up Count Azibelpher, an apparent expert in space-time fuckery
“He’s quite an eccentric. He’s rarely motivated by anything so simple as the logic of what benefits him most.” As I said, Urobuchi is clearly having the time of his life writing these dramas, and getting to design as many half-mad schemers as he can imagine
And of course, tapping into all this power would allow the Seven Blasphemous Deaths to regain her true form as the sorceress Zhao Jun Lin. Always nice to see siblings reconnect like this
Welp, turns out Lin heard all of that
We then jump to Shang’s party emerging from a portal into the Void Junction, which serves as a chance for this production to indulge in one of my favorite visual flourishes: straight-up flinging these ornate puppets across the stage
“Did you switch sides again?” “He was never on anyone’s side in the first place.” Shang’s learned the proper attitude regarding Lin – never rely on him for anything, just assume he’ll do whatever might cause the biggest fuss for everyone. If you treat him more as a natural disaster than a motivated actor, you’ll probably achieve a better hit rate for predicting his plays
“The only thing he’s thinking about is who will be the most fun to toy with.” Love that Shang and Xing Hai have both developed the same opinion of Lin from opposite directions
Lin reveals everything he overheard, presumably anxious for the good guys to hurry up and start some fires again. Scheming is always fun, but being too far ahead of everyone else in the information game is just boring
“But according to Xing Hai’s self-aggrandizing explanations…” Lin can’t help but allow some little snipes to enter his pompous, self-serious explanations
Shang reveals that he previously entered this place some time ago, when it was already in ruins. Thus he was alerted that this place defies the laws of time, as he’d previously seen its future state
“Why didn’t you say anything? If a means to change the past exists… we can change what happened to Tian Ming.” Thus Wu Yao immediately answers his own question. The Void Junction’s powers are exactly like the Sorcerous Sword Index – a tool that should be available to no one, a weapon that can only be kept safe in the hands of someone as dedicated to peace as Shang. Any lesser hero would immediately consider how much good they might do by exploiting time travel; it is Shang’s defining strength that he favors prudence when it comes to world-changing powers
“If it could undo what happened, I’d gladly give up my own life. I thought you felt the same!” Thus is the burden of Shang – there are many things he’d gladly give up his life to protect, but which he will nonetheless not break his oath to achieve
Lin swiftly breaks up the argument. He enjoys provoking his companions into righteous quarrels, but we’ve got shit to deal with at the moment
“That does not paint a very pleasant picture of the future.” Kudos to these translators for so precisely capturing Lin’s obnoxiously ornate manner of speaking
Lin is then called out by Yi, and of course bluffs that he was planning to mislead Shang if he’d only had more time
“I’m fully aware of how hard it is to earn someone’s trust. Meaning I have no option but to be patient, and continue acting in earnest.” I imagine Lin being a puppet makes it easier for him to spew this stuff with a straight face
His ensuing argument is even more outrageous: “I could barely betray you for any benefit right now, but I could betray the HELL out of Shang.”
“Are you really going to betray Shang?” “If it sounded like I am, then things are going smoothly.” Like with Xing Hai, Lin can’t help but dunk on the half-oblivious Juan Can Yun
“Being with you makes it hard to tell where the truth ends and lies begin!” “Your first mistake is assuming that those two things are always wildly divergent.” A key lesson, though Can Yun isn’t really equipped to understand it. The best liars understand that the truth is one of their most valuable weapons; the truth bolsters and fortifies your lies, offering a framework of accepted reality in which to seed your slight revisions. Many of the most effective lies are constructed of various carefully arranged partial truths
“Whatever world they may have ended up in, being in that man’s company is one of the safest places I can imagine.” Lin reveals his genuine respect for Shang once the man has left, even if only in the context of lamenting that he is now Can Yun’s babysitter
“It’d be unwise to consider me an ally. I must act as one of their co-conspirators.” Yeah, sorry Can Yun, but saving your ass is not worth blowing Lin’s cover
Lin generally offers to share some of his favorite hiding spots
Meanwhile, the witch gals are in a group chat with Azibelpher, who’s being a real pill about supporting their plan for world domination
Azibelpher reveals the Demon Lord has lost his nerve, and now forbids any meddling in the mortal plane
I appreciate the production team employing a bunch of zooms and pans to add some visual drama to cuts of the Seven Blasphemous Deaths just sort of sitting there
Flung into a new dimension, Shang angrily addresses the Lin Nendoroid, only to discover it’s adopted a smug “did I do that?” cat face. Intolerable
Aw shit, they’re in the demon realm. Some nicely deformed demon puppets arrive to greet them
Man, this show’s foley work is so good. Terrific sound effects for the ensuing battle, from the explosive impact of physical blows to the clattering crashes of them smashing against the scenery
Also appreciate how these demons don’t fight like swordsmen; they’re more like rabid animals, throwing their bodies recklessly at their opponents
And Done
Thus our heroes escape their first encounter in hell! But what’s this – Lang’s righteous tunes have alerted Azibelpher, master of time and space magic, to their intrusion in the demon realm! Yep, shit’s just going from bad to worse for our team, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This season continues to enthusiastically embrace the cross-realm dramatic potential afforded by the Void Junction, facilitating a wider range of fights and venues while giving Lin all the more opportunities to sink his hooks into friends and foes alike. It’s delightful to return to this bombastic yet intricately sculpted drama; its mixture of larger-than-life fights, ornate schemes, and genuinely pointed insights is a rare and precious formula, the sort of comfort food that you actually feel more refreshed for indulging. Great to see these guys again, and I can only hope our next episode reacquaints us with Jun Po and my beloved Murder Princess!
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