A season with a slight amount of hope for once?
Welcome to a blessed season. Blessed because while there’s still around ten goddamned reincarnation cheat power shows, almost all of them are sequels, so I don’t have to force myself to looking up anything about them and despairing for humanity. Even better, there’s actually quite a few fightin’ magical girl shows, and a few genuinely good studios put out some nice looking promos. A real rarity. Can’t wait for those hopes to be dashed against the rocks. Here’s the list of the sequels. I made up one of them, just to see if anybody can even tell.
Slime Reincarnation
King Reincarnation
Last Boss Villainess Reincarnation
Level 999 Reincarnation
Vending Machine Reincarnation
Farming Reincarnation
Re(incarnation):0
Class Elite
Angel Next Door
Dr. Stone
Wistoria
Iruma
Yozakura Fam
Ace of Diamond
Fist of North
Wistoria is the only one that I have even the slightest interest in, and I remember basically nothing about that except that the writing was comically nonsensical, everybody bullied the idiot for no actual reason, and it loved to use impact frames. That’s already more positive things than I could say about at least twelve other shows on that list. Onward to something I’ve already watched.
Vaguely Fantastical Magical Creatures
Agents of the Four Seasons: Dance of Spring
https://4seasons-anime.com/
Studio: Wit Studio
Genre: Drama
Premieres March 28th
Show Premise:
Girls are demigods embodying the four seasons.
Random Thoughts:
By the same author as Violet Evergarden, and appears to be largely a similar deal. Some tragic thing happened before the story began, and everybody’s really mopey about it while still being extra sparkly, ethereal, and pretty. A big red flag to me is the subtitle, as the LN series switches between which seasonal girl is the protagonist every couple volumes. The subtitle appears to indicate that it’d cover only the first two. Also, a common complaint appears to be how tedious and hard to get through the start is. So the pacing may be extra godawful, which seems born out by the first episode. That said, the PV is surprisingly action oriented. They all have bodyguards which also usually act as their romantic interests, exasperatingly. This is shoujo after all. Wit often does that and then tanks production two episodes in, and it’s honestly hard to even parse out what or why they’re fighting in between all the girl angst and wibbling over their feelings that seem to be the main focus, and again, none of that was in the first episode, so does that mean it’s to come, or did they just realize they should market something people would actually want to watch.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Wasn’t this the premise of most Kirby games?
You’ve Been Killed Again, Detective
https://www.tbs.co.jp/anime/matakoro/
Studio: LIDENFILMS
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
Immortal detective keeps dying.
Random Thoughts:
Aside from the inane premise, which only gets more inane because he comes from a line of immortal detectives who keep coming back to life, until his father… uh… doesn’t, the novels are apparently not very mysterious. Or well written. Which makes a lot of sense because they’re by some random Vocaloid dude who decided to do LNs for a year, spat out this copy of at least two other things with the same premise that have already been adapted, got bored, and went to do something else. Well, good for him for getting paid. All the mysteries are very short form anyway, and not even in chronological order. Plus, it’s a very corny schtick, with the seven legendary criminals out wandering around, wearing clown masks and making nuisances of themselves. Yeah, I think I can already see how the writing may not be lighting the world on fire. Liden is still profoundly mediocre, and the promos… don’t really look like much of anything, to be honest.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Avenge me, Simba.
When Kujima Sings, the House Warbles
https://kujima-anime.com/#anchor-news
Studio: Studio Hibari
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 9th
Show Premise:
Dude adopts bird-man creature.
Random Thoughts:
A supposedly surreal thing, where a non sequitur happens, and the joke isn’t that the yeti-bird thing yelled in Russian, but that someone can then yell back “WHY ARE YOU YELLING IN RUSSIAN!?” Or other even more banal things as showcased in the promos, like “THAT BIRD IS VERY LARGE”, a joke so funny it would be used multiple times in a single promo. It seems far less surreal than the deer girl show, and that turned out to just be five minutes of internet attention and some memes. I do not have high expectations for the humor.
Preseason Swing Rating:
A tiger shark draws near.
Reincarnation is Just Another Word for Field Trip
Apparently the Strongest Class Wasn’t Hero or Sage, but Appraiser (Provisional)
https://kanteishikari-anime.com/
Studio: Studio Flad
Genre: Trash
Premieres March 31st*
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
At least almost everybody appears to hate this judging by the online reviews, which is eyecatching in and of itself. Most because it’s apparently terribly written and goes on many page tangents on the utter minutia of every little item he appraises, some because apparently the author got bored of it and completely abandoned the series mid-arc, some because it apparently gets super weird and creepy about ‘romance’, especially when it comes to dudes sensually bathing together. Or maybe it’s the giant furry dude bathing young boys. There are just… so many things wrong with everything here. Flad is another mediocre studio (Alma, Banished from Hero Party), still searching for an iota of talent or ambition, with the same awful cheat power promo of a dude summoning status screens to narrate… uh… what’s on the status screen. Which makes him the most specialist boy ever because only he can maximize the value of everything. Including the flesh of young boys, apparently.
Preseason Swing Rating:
One tasty child, please.
Haibara’s Teenage New Game Plus
https://haibarakun-anime.com/
Studio: Studio Comet
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
Dude travels back in time to redo high school.
Random Thoughts:
I understand the whole relive your youth thing, right up until it’s all about using your thirty year old brain and knowledge of the future to manipulate teenage girls into sleeping with you. But we’re here for the nostalgia and springtime of youth, right? Blegh. You can get that anywhere, and without some dude pulling a 21 Jump Street to perv on teenagers. And that’s his big schtick. To be one of the popular kids so that he can date the girl who rejected him. We always seem to gloss over that in these reincarnation things, don’t we? Any 20 year old that wants to hang out with a bunch of 14 year olds is probably not someone you want around them. In any case, there’s no shortage of generic ass high school dramas, and a timetraveling weirdo isn’t even anything new. Hell, there are two of these this season, drama and comedy flavored.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Howdy, fellow children.
MAO
https://www.anime-mao.com/
Studio: Sunrise
Genre: Adventure
Premieres April 4th
Show Premise:
Girl travels back in time and watches boy fight demons.
Random Thoughts:
Hey, Rumiko Takahashi. Inuyasha was popular. Can you do that again, but make it very slightly different? Okay! Time travels back 100 years instead of 500. Party is three people instead of six. Instead of a half demon dog boy, he’s some random percentage demon cat boy. We are not going in bold creative directions. Even it also being Sunrise adapting it is the same as Inuyasha. And the promos look like… more Inuyasha. Maybe a little bloodier with some decapitations, but that could just be 30 years of TV censorship loosening. We already had the actual continuation with their daughters, some of child brides. Will a full reboot be better? Doubt it.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Not again.
The Observation Records of My Fiancee Who Claims to be a Villainess.
https://jisho-akuyaku-anime.jp/
Studio: Ashi Productions
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Of course there’s reincarnated villainess shows. But this time, the protagonist is the dude instead of the reincarnated dude. Comedy flavor instead of drama, at least supposedly. I’m not sure Ashi got the memo, since there’s nothing even approaching comedy in any of the promos. Here’s the title. Girls with sparklies. Pointy chinned boys. And now, the title again. What a comedic premise this is, pointing out the cliche that all of these have. …Uh, yeah, I don’t have anything insightful to add here. At least there’s only the one this season.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Hit someone with your hair already.
Goddess: “What Would You Like to Be When Reincarnated Into Another World?” Me: “The Rib of a Hero.”
https://rokkotsu-anime.com/
Studio: Qzil.la
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
I’ll say this, the promo certainly does look… interesting. In kind of the late night Adult Swim variety show hour where they’re just letting people do anything, in all manner of styles, and the anything ends up being a lot of drugs, with their friends and neighbors badly acting out scenes themselves, so probably a bit of light embezzlement. Certainly a far cry from Qzil’s last show (Champignon Witch). The actual light novel is nowhere near as ‘exciting,’ if you can call it that, as the premise indicates. There’s a waiting list for ‘good’ reincarnation things, so he just says random noun, then reappears in front of the goddess and they do an improv (fine, manzai) routine about it for a chapter and then move on to the next thing. Dungeon doormat, hero rib, sword. Which is itself as exciting as it sounds, and not at all different from what these cheat power things are already doing as the baseline. Which is why the drugs probably help. Can’t say they aren’t putting in too much effort or don’t appear to be enjoying themselves at least.
Preseason Swing Rating:
The box of creative ideas is empty.
Very Dramatic Girls in Unhealthy Relationships
The Fish That Got Away Was Big, But The Fish That Was Caught Was Too Big
https://nigetsuri-anime.com/
Studio: TROYCA
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 1st
Show Premise:
Noble girl marries prince.
Random Thoughts:
Yes, really. That’s kind of it. If the title was literal, that’d be far more interesting. Oh, it goes through the trappings of pretending like it’s a villainess thing, complete with the whole scene of the prince rejecting her, because he mistook her for someone else. It gets even dumber and creepier when you look up the ages of all involved. At age 15, she has mastered all martial arts, but has a new baby brother, and is also too old for a political marriage like the rest of her family, so she self-exiles because her only hope left is to find a husband herself, all her martial training now worthless because there’s a finally a male heir. Girl power! Do not expect that martial arts mastery to mean anything either, not even to the level of One Last Thing. It’s just a joke where she Team Rocket is Blasting Off a couple ruffians so the prince falls in love with her and is all overreactions and sparklies on pastel backgrounds from then out.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Moderately pink and sparkly.
Pardon the Intrusion, I’m Home!
http://www.tadaoja-anime.com/
Studio: Tatsunoko Production
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
Girl lives between two pretty dudes.
Random Thoughts:
One has glasses and is nice. The other throws screaming violent tantrums and breaks the walls between their apartments. Which she forgives because he’s the author of her favorite anime, and therefore has to deal with her conflicted feelings of being physically terrified of him, and mortified that her existing annoys her object of worship. And so she agrees to be his maid. And the other dude’s pretend girlfriend. Girl power! Again! Who doesn’t fantasize about being in an involuntary chaste throuple with two emotionally and physically manipulative dudes? As long as they’re hot, it’s okay.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Visualization of the headspace here.
Tales of Awajima
https://awajima-anime.com/
Studio: Madhouse
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 9th
Show Premise:
Girls go to music school.
Random Thoughts:
A ‘coming of age’ manga thing, which means that it’s teenage girls all pontificating about how they’re doing their best and their lives are so meaningful because they’re following their dreams. Their dreams to do what? To do their best and follow their dreams. The format is somewhat unusual, as every chapter picks two random ones and has them state their admiration and respect for the other. Even when one is a teacher, it gets all flashbacky to their own teenage years so they can sing the praises of their school and how profound teenage life is in general. Gag me with a fork.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Let’s see the real 80s in a flashback for once.
Dramatic People With Too Much Time on Their Hands
The Ramparts of Ice
https://korinojoheki-pr.com/
Studio: Studio Kai
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
Teenagers are friends.
Random Thoughts:
By the same author as Polar Opposites, but it’s their long-previous webtoon, so it’s a fairly different format. Type of humor and characters aren’t any different though. She scowls and thus everybody’s scared of her…… except for literally every named character who she’s besties with. And like its sister series, making exaggerated expressions and then explaining them is most of the humor too. Supposedly it’s more serious and dramatic, but in a quick five minute browse, I saw none of that. It looked no different from other webtoon about teenage girls in existence, all mooning over the boys and being mopey over how nobody gets you. Are high school kids not subjected to a hojillion coming of age stories these days such that they become sick of it? Is that not a thing they do anymore? Has the world been freed from the terrors of Terabithia, The Outsiders, and Catcher in the Rye? Orrrrr is it just special because it’s Japanese.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Maybe it’s Maybelline.
The Kusonoki Manor’s Garden of Gods
https://kusunokitei.com/
Studio: JUVENAGE
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 4th
Show Premise:
Dude lives with pokemon.
Random Thoughts:
Beware of anything that tries to advertise itself as “slow life.” It means “can’t be bothered to come up with any plot, story, or development.” I would rather watch a hundred British pastoral dramas than any more “slow life” shows. The dude is friends with some gods, and… uhhhh… ummm… that does indeed appear to be the long and the short of it. They show up, comment on the weather, everyone has some tea. Who knew that in ten years, we’d be longing for the fast pace and balls to the walls action of Natsume’s Book of Friends, but here we are.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Good job with the tea, guys.
Japan Three Kingdoms
https://www.nipponsangoku.com/
Studio: Studio Kafka
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 5th
Show Premise:
In the far future, technology has reverted to feudal era. Three kingdoms war over Japan.
Random Thoughts:
These war dramas have been pretty rare lately, but I can’t say I ever missed them. The connections to the actual Romance of the Three Kingdoms are scant, and the overly complicated premise seems to be an excuse to be really cavalier about the level of technology, and get constantly sidetracked into extremely long explanations about the made up future-history and organizational charts of the kingdoms. Even the protagonist’s schtick is that he’s going to win the day with logic and pluck, giving speeches about how he’s going to change the world, swaying the hearts of the heartless warlords so impressed by his verve. And then the next four chapters are off dispassionately listing the battles and revolts playing out on the opposite side of Japan. I don’t get the appeal. And the promos are all stern faced dudes scowling at each other, so I really don’t get the appeal.
Preseason Swing Rating:
The future should have radioactive frog mechs.
Left-Handed Ellen
https://eren-anime.com/
Studio: Signal.MD
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
Dude meets graffiti artist.
Random Thoughts:
Officially romanized as “Eren the Southpaw” because we just use whatever Google Translate says. Even Japanese people were baffled by the romanization, both parts, Eren for a female instead of Ellen, and Southpaw in a non-sports context. Not TECHNICALLY wrong, in the same way using emdashes isn’t wrong, but still not something someone who actually understands what they’re doing would ever do. Aaaanyway, one of those rare Jump dramas like Bakuman which aren’t directly sports oriented. Vaguely art exhibition and graffiti oriented, with an entire Banksy tournament or something, because of course it does. It has something of an usual origin story as it ran a successful crowdfunding campaign to completely redo the art a couple years in, but at the end of the day, it’s still just every staid drama. She’s the quirky girl. He’s a melancholic dude. They’re both tormented by existential angst, but learn by Doing Your Best™ that Doing Your Best© always leads to success and fulfillment. I guess it’s also notable for being Signal.MD’s swan song, as they were the originally credited studio before being bought and dismantled by Production IG. Which is a pretty bad sign for all involved, because they’re rather awful (Hana-Kimi, Starry Nina). But at least they’re gone now, and can’t hurt anybody else. Except for this series.
Preseason Swing Rating:
The thrilling world of corporate street performance art.
Super Tournament Fighting Teenagers
Branch of Reincarnation
https://petals-of-reincarnation-anime.com/
Studio: BENTEN Film
Genre: Action
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
Teenagers fight with throat slitting powers.
Random Thoughts:
Uhhhh… huh. The premise is actually basically just Persona 3. They use magic knives to pretend cut their throats, and instead gain the magical powers of some historical ancestor. Instead of summoning the power of Jack Frost, they summon Albert Einstein, which lets one teleport. You know, as Einstein did. And continuing the Persona similarities, there’s even Hitler running around. As a teenage girl. I’d normally be more on board, just because this sounds nuts, but BENTEN is Gaina (Grendizer U, Va-Va-Vampire), which was bought and renamed by some AI venture capital group. Gaina being the shambling corpse of Gainax after it was looted for parts following its criminal activities. They were dire before. I can’t imagine how godawful things are now. Actually, having seen the promos, I think I can. It’s BAD.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Reprocessed substitute meat product.
Duals of the Underworld
https://yominotsugai.com/
Studio: Bones
Genre: Action
Premieres April 4th
Show Premise:
Twins have twin demon pets.
Random Thoughts:
Also known as Daemons of the Shadow Realm for reasons I couldn’t explain since I feel like everything being twins is the big selling point. The manga is by the same author as Full Metal Alchemist, and the character design certainly makes that obvious. As does Bones handling production and a bunch of FMA staff working on this too. Nice that they’re still getting work. Anyway, this is kind of a Futakoi setup (remember that franchise?) where everything is twins for some reason, but ends up basically being somewhat more serious Pokemon. Well, maybe not even to Pokemon’s level, since most of the pets are stuff like “bipedal rabbit”, “blob with teeth”, or my favorite, “dog.” It’s Bones, so the animation does look good, but this is a road well worn. There’s even Chinese wuxia urine versions of this schtick. There was also a Crunchyroll early screening of the first episode a couple weeks back where people were… not enthusiastic. Given what the default level of praise is for anything at all, that feels like a big blinking red light.
Preseason Swing Rating:
I’m serious. Multiple ‘daemons’ are literally just regular animals.
Akane’s Story
https://akane-banashi.com/
Studio: Zexcs
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 4th
Show Premise:
Girl does rakugo.
Random Thoughts:
A Jump adaptation, so all the usual stuff. Excessive overreactions, paragraphs upon paragraphs of explanations from the peanut gallery, and somehow, training arcs into training arcs, nonstop tournaments. For rakugo. Can’t break the formula, I guess, whether it’s fighting aliens or baking bread. Zexcs too? Have they finally freed themselves from Shadowverse, which is basically all they’ve done for the last eight years? You used to be a real studio, guys. Even at best though, it’s a Jump sports show with all that entails, which is endless monologuing and overreactions from the peanut gallery to exhaustively explain every detail of every scene. Not even slightly tempted.
Preseason Swing Rating:
We all know rakugo anime peaked with Joshiraku anyway.
Liar Game
https://www.liargame-anime.com/
Studio: Madhouse
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 6th
Show Premise:
Girl accidentally joins underworld gambling tournament.
Random Thoughts:
Essentially girl Kaiji/Akagi, right down to the studio and staff, minus the extra pointy chins. They’re still pointy because there’s a female protagonist, mind you, just not AS sharply angular. Also, since girl protagonist, she’s a cinnamon role who has to rely on a dude to be smart and ruthless while she wins everybody over with her honesty and pluck. In any case, it’s the usual excessively overdramatized parlor games. Not even fun ones like Million Dollar Duck Duck Goose. And yet, somehow still takes sixty pages and fourteen flopsweats just for a basic prisoner’s dilemma or trolley problem. I’ve not been a fan of any of these, and can’t imagine that changing.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Not likely to win a game of knifey-spoony.
Melodramatic Teenagers… But With Crushes
Go For It, Nakamura!
https://nakamura-kun.love/
Studio: Drive
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
Dude has crush on classmate.
Random Thoughts:
The yelly and overreacting for the camera kind of comedy. Oh, and they’re both dudes, so it has to pretend like they’re ‘just friends,’ which makes things even more exasperating as one hyperventilates and screams “HE IS SO CUTE.” Don’t expect it’s all cutsey and blushing though. It takes all the way to the second chapter before the dude is fantasizing about his crush being tentacle raped by a horny octopus before being ink squirted in the face. Which is atypical for the manga in general, but it’s the usual recitation of cliches. “This is just like the scene in my BL manga!” is something shouted by two separate characters across the first few chapters as someone gets slammed against a wall or draws such. PVs are… just yelling and overreacting. Hopes are not high.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Tentacles exactly where expected.
Kirio Fanclub
https://kirio-fc.com/
Studio: Satelight
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 2nd
Show Premise:
Girls both have crush on a dude.
Random Thoughts:
More a comedy than drama, and the dude is largely just some extremely awkward golem far off in the distance until a very sharp turn to the ultra melodramatic at the very end, but mostly the ‘comedy’ is puerile non sequiturs that are little different from standup routines. For example, one says “wouldn’t it be cool if he had super sonic farts?” and so they spend the next ten pages riffing on how crazy that would be with plenty of reaction faces where they look straight at the audience and say “it would be super cool if his fart blew up a pigeon.” There’s not much variety in the humor. It’s also Satelight doing an adaptation, which is always horrid, though honestly, Sakugan is the last thing they made that didn’t look like hot fried ass, and that’s five years old now. Their heyday may be long gone.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Beats cyberbullying their peers.
Even a Replica Can Fall in Love
https://replico.jp/
Studio: Voil
Genre: Drama?
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
Girl can summon a clone to do things she doesn’t want to.
Random Thoughts:
Teenage melodrama flavor, which is especially awkward because the replica here is literally a slave. And not to spoil things, but it turns out there’s more magic slave clones running around, some of whom resent, you know, BEING SLAVES ENTHRALLED TO SPOILED CHILDREN, while we’re also supposed to feel for the angst of the creators because they feel uncomfortable stepping back into the lives after forcing their thralls out, and how guilty the main clone-girl feels because she’s doing all the precious school stuff. It’s hard for me to even think about what the proper headspace for this is. Sounds like existential horror, not melancholic coming of age rom com about finding your place in the world. The modern world. As a slave to a petulant teenage girl.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Let’s go murder some sociopaths!
The Bizarre Array of Magical Girls
Needy Girl Overdose
https://needygirl-anime.com/
Studio: Yostar Pictures
Genre: Uhhhh
Premieres April 4th
Show Premise:
Troubled girl is a streamer.
Random Thoughts:
Also known as Needy Streamer Overload to be more censor friendly. Loosely based on a game similar to Princess Maker, except you’re managing a mentally ill streamer girl starved for attention, including fueling her drug and sex addictions. Yeah, it’s THAT kind of game. Which is extra funny because in some versions, the drugs were censored to candy. Chase that sugar high for extra ‘cuddles.’ It’s a short form game with a buttload of endings, so the adaptation is not going to be too similar to the original game, what with involving more than the girl, plus writing out her live in invisible boyfriend/drug dealer. She didn’t transform and fight other streamers with chainsaws in the game, for example. Yostar is the animation branch of… Yostar, makers of stuff like Arknights, but have been pretty mediocre when adapting things besides their personal brands (Loser Ranger, Sorairo Utility), but overall competent at least. It’s very nearly an original with magical girls chainsawing each other. We take those. Probably. Depending. At least now that the Madoka craze is behind us.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Put the thin mints in the bag and nobody gets hurt.
Magical Sisters Lulu and Lily
https://www.luluttolilly.com/
Studio: Studio Pierrot
Genre: Merchandising
Premieres April 5th
Show Premise:
Girls transform and are idols.
Random Thoughts:
Before most of the people reading this were even alive, Pierrot did a yearly magical girls become idol series. Cutting edge for the 80s. You’ve probably heard the godawful title “Creamy Mami” which was the original incarnation. They made a whole franchise out of this for years until it died unceremoniously. Then they brought it back as a glorious nostalgia bait in 1998 for one unsuccessful iteration. But someone’s feeling spicy, so nearly thirty years later, we’re taking another whack at that nostalgia for a series that the fans of would now be in their sixties. Key anime demographic there. This time? TWO magical girls. Sisters, who don’t realize the other’s secret identity. There’s only two fully original shows this season, and THIS is one of them. They don’t fight monsters. They don’t do good. They turn into CGI and promote the idol industry. To nostalgia bait for a 40 year old franchise which has been dead for nearly 30 years. Good luck with that.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Alternatively, don’t exhume corpses.
Ghost Concert: Missing Songs
https://ghostconcert-anime.com/
Studio: ENGI
Genre: Action?
Premieres April 5th
Show Premise:
Magical girls become ghosts to fight psychics to free music from evil AIs.
Random Thoughts:
Uh… huh. The more I looked up about this, the more baffling it became. It was meant to be a mixed media music thing, but had the bad fortune to start in early 2020, literally because the guy liked Classic Stars, that boy band thing about reincarnated composers and their evil twins. He thought “wouldn’t it be cool if it wasn’t composers, but historical figures in general?” No, really. This is the final note on its official page before it was spiked by covid before its first big concert, so just lived as a small collection of one off songs until its revival five years later. There are no updates between cancellation due to covid and anime announcement. But even that is hiding that every character in its original incarnation was a historical figure, reimagined as a magical idol. That fight, I guess? With music? Pretty boy Sherlock vs Cleopatra vs Dracula vs Billy the Kid vs Mitsuhide Akechi. Very little of that appears to remain in the anime version, which looks to be an array of magical girls shooting magical bows and lasers at… something just off-screen… CGI blocks? The personification of evil AI? As well as one onmyouji dude who’s probably their manager? They still invoke the powers of Cleopatra and others, but I’m not sure how Cleopatra leads to musical laser beams. It doesn’t look like the worst, and being original at all (for a loose definitely of such) is to be lauded, and certainly looks better than Engi’s usual quality (eg Medalist, Unnamed Memory). Staff isn’t notable though, and no action shows anywhere near the resumes. Hell if I know. It’s all a mystery to me.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Like a warm box of something squirming.
Witch Hat Atelier
https://tongari-anime.com/
Studio: Bug Films
Genre: Adventure
Premieres April 6th
Show Premise:
Girl becomes witch.
Random Thoughts:
There’s a lot promising here. The manga’s well regarded. Bug is a pretty strong studio, though their only show thus far (Zom 100) was plagued by production issues. And it’s being directed by a very solid dude (Summer Time Rendering, Komi). Well made promo with a lot of animation and action as well. The biggest danger is probably if Bug once again is forced to skip a bunch of weeks and then delay an entire final arc for months. At least for the audience in general. For me in particular, it does appear to veer heavily into exhaustive setting lore recitation, the springtime of youth, and glory of doing your best and caring about each other, and at least as of this moment of writing, plus all the comparisons I see that boil down to “Harry Potter, but better,” that fills me with something other than anticipation. Hopefully animation flair carries the day without descending into production issues.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Or maybe just some inoffensive soul food.
The Classroom of a Black Cat and Witch
https://witch-classroom.com/
Studio: LIDENFILMS
Genre: Boobs
Premieres April 12th
Show Premise:
Girl goes to magic school taught by dude who’s a cat.
Random Thoughts:
Same author as Boarding School Juliet, if you remember that. Or more relevantly, the same studio and staff as Promise of Wizard, that godawful also magic school also fanservicey drek from last year, but with a boy harem. Significantly more yelly and boob jiggly than that one though. A mountain of cliches follows, complete with her wanting to bang the cat who’s also a dude who’s twice her age. It’s all the usual magic school harem stuff which hasn’t changed since the days of Zero’s Familiar. Even learning magic from the stuffed animal that turns into a sex-boy was old hat back the late 90s. Heck, that’s Nanoha’s origin story. Turn that over in your head. The first shot of the main promo is the girl bondaged up in vines, and nothing is animated for sixty seconds except the mouths plastered on their chins. Expectations are minimal.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Please do not the cats.
Food and Drink
The Maid Just Eats
https://meitabe-anime.com/
Studio: EMT Squared
Genre: Food
Premieres April 5th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Every chapter is about 12 pages where the titular maid, who never changes out of her outfit despite having no reason to be in it, wants to eat some Japanese food, oohs and aahs over it, learns a couple ‘fun’ factoids, and then eats it while yelling “delicious!” Just… random Japanese foods. Not even any specific variety like ramen or bread. And judging by the first episode title, they’ll be doing five random foods a week. Thrilling. Do the Japanese really need a show extolling the virtues of Japanese foods? Are they under threat from McDonalds or something? See, now that would be interesting. A war against the evils of gentrification and commercialism obliterating tradition. A touch xenophobic, possibly, but as long as we’re beating up clowns. And whatever the hell Grimace is.
Preseason Swing Rating:
A damn nightmare, that’s what Grimace is.
The Drops of God
https://dropsofgod-anime.com/
Studio: Satelight
Genre: Drink
Premieres April 10th
Show Premise:
Dude who hates wine enters wine fight.
Random Thoughts:
Yes, I know sommelier competitions are a real thing, but not like this where they magically deduce the ingredients using their magical noses from the opposite side of the room and are able to pinpoint the origin to a specific vineyard and year. Those are more like… what food goes with this wine? Is this a cheap or expensive wine? How merlot is this merlot? Nor is there a secret cult of wine masters waiting with a secret bottle for the designated chosen one to appear. I would also say it’s a tournament, but it’s against only one other dude, his secret half-brother, and across about FORTY volumes, they have to ID around 13 wines. Do not expect some kind of Indiana Jones of wining, or anything even vaguely approaching eventful.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Way to take all the fun out of drinking.
Kamiina Botan Blossoms When She’s Drunk
https://kamiina-botan.com/
Studio: Soigne
Genre: Boobs
Premieres April 10th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Remember that show from last spring that was just girls sort of touring around, looking at stuff? Same studio and mostly staff, and pretty much the same thing. Essentially a tourism show where they go wine/spirit touring so they can ooh and aah at the local wines or beers. Each chapter is only about 10 pages, and typically little more than pointing at some kind of liquor, drinking it, saying something flirty, and then restating the title. The ‘comedy’ is not so much driven by humorous situations or observations, but by girls being flushed and a lack of personal space. Just girls in a not-club tourism stuff with slightly more yuri elements than usual.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Always skips the part where they drunkenly vomit sushi.
Nerd x Popular Girl Fanservice Corner
Kanan is Devilishly Simple
https://kanachoro-anime.com/
Studio: Studio Kai
Genre: Boobs
Premieres April 4th
Show Premise:
Demon has crush on boy.
Random Thoughts:
Pretty generic fanservice rom com, extra yelly. I guess one thing pretty unusual about it is that most of the harem is bisexual with half of them hooking up with each other in a tangled web of sketch. Which is… unusual. These things tend to all be focused straight on the dude, not spreading the STDs like candy. It’s nothing too notable for harem fanservice stuff outside that though. She freaks out over every little thing, loudly and repeatedly, all while boobing chestfully all over the place, accidentally tripping on top of him to flash her underwear for the camera. Ten years ago, it would be completely lost in the noise of fourteen other shows exactly like it. Nowadays, it’s practically a unicorn. Kai (Nube, Horse Girls), doesn’t seem like they’ve put any special effort into it. Just upped the volume.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Boobies!
The Tale of a Klutzy Hall Monitor and a Highschool Girl With a Skirt Too Short
https://ponsuka.com/
Studio: Zero-G
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Wow. An awkward nerd and a trendy girl? You don’t say. What an unexpected pairing this is. At least if you’re into this setup, you’re spoiled for choice this season. I couldn’t for the life of me tell you what would set this apart from the others. That it’s not a full on harem, I guess. Is it better than all those shows about doing your sister? Probably. But we’ve only moved from gargling granite to gargling sand. It’s not even like these were rare ten years ago. We’ve just changed from wanting to bang the straightlaced class president to wanting to bang the pouty fashionable girl. Well, and that nowadays, they take 30 chapters to confess instead of 300 because there isn’t a whole array of side characters anymore. Just the two. Who can move on to getting embarrassed about THINKING about holding hands. Progress.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Another forty gyaru, to go.
Gals Can’t Be Kind to Otaku!?
https://otagal.jp/
Studio: TMS Entertainment
Genre: Boobs
Premieres April 8th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Yes. Yet another one. Not even brought to you by the Hokkaido tourism committee or anything. Just spewing it out for the love the trope. There is obviously an entire harem of every different flavor of them, and the cleavage one makes sure to always be in his face and crawling all over him like a squid while he fidgets and says oh golly gee, I’m just a nerd an she’s so popular, it must be platonic. And since it is a full harem, that means it’s going to stay in a holding pattern forever. It makes me think about how rare it is to have a protagonist who just uses a spray bottle and deadpan attitude to keep the harem in check. I know I’ve seen the gag somewhere in anime before, but it’s so fleetingly rare that I legitimately can’t think of where. Even the chaste monk types are always of the embarrassed horny variety. Anyway, seen one of these, seen all fifty others. And I guess this is the new hot thing, so we’ll be seeing another fifty more.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Put it away, lady.
I Want to End This “I Love You” Game
https://www.aishiteru-game.com/
Studio: Felix Film
Genre: Comedy
Premieres April 14th
Show Premise:
Boy and girl flirt.
Random Thoughts:
Their ‘game’ is that whoever admits they have a crush loses, so they flirt and then announce internally how flustered they are. That’s it. That’s the joke. That they blush and internally announce “that was so awkwaaaard!” He’s the awkward dude. She’s the overly affable popular girl. It’s just Kaguya, or Takagi, or Nagatoro, or Kashiwada. The creative twist is that it doesn’t have the female lead’s name in the title. And since there are no other characters besides the main two, they get together about fifty chapters in. If the adaptation even makes it that far. I think I got my triennial taste of this out of my system with Pseudo Harem, so I’m still good for another year before I start getting even slightly tempted to watch another one.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Your manic pixie dream girl is in another castle.
The Same Thing As Above But With Extra Panty Shots
I Became Friends with the Second Cutest Girl in my Class
https://kuranika.asmik-ace.co.jp/
Studio: Connect
Genre: Boobs
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Sweet christ. Another banal harem show that does the absolute minimum to unconvincingly claim it’s original. What if instead of the most popular girl in class, it was the SECOND most popular girl in class? And also the most popular girl in class. And all the other girls in class for that matter. And we can’t have the bonding secret be having a job, or being into anime. That’s been done to death. This time, it’s being a fan of B movies. So embarrassing. At least it’s not an action show, as Connect (Fainting Hero, Ayakashi Triangle) is a mediocre studio at best, and don’t appear to have found any extra talent judging by the bog standard promos.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Remember, ducks are corkscrew dicked rapists.
Pathetic Teacher
https://www.yowayowasensei-anime.com/
Studio: Brain’s Base
Genre: Boobs
Premieres April 11th
Show Premise:
Teacher is bad at her job.
Random Thoughts:
Title’s sort of a pun, but it’s obvious how it’s meant to be taken. Extremely trashy harem fanservice. He exists to be tripped on and cause various wardrobe malfunctions. Most of the harem boobs their way around being sex pests to anybody and everything in their vicinity while panting and moaning nonstop. It’s about six pages into the manga before she’s ripping off her shirt and then tumbling on top of him. Halfway through the next chapter, she’s full on spreadeagled with her hands behind her head, boobs literally exploding out of her clothing. At least T&A is a stepping stone to porn.
Preseason Swing Rating:
How are we not neck deep in 15 different Undertale clones yet?
Enjoying Life in a Studio Apartment!
https://ichijyoma-anime.com/
Studio: PRA
Genre: Panty Shots
Premieres April 11th
Show Premise:
Girls work at a manga cafe.
Random Thoughts:
A four panel comic deal, and if you’re familiar with it, it should come as no surprise that the creator spent the first decade or so of her career doing a whooooole lot of porn. Not that I’m throwing stones, but the two jokes that it has are either girl makes silly face in the fourth panel, or panty shot. Rarely, for the true blowout moments, you get two panels sacrificed for a full body clothing explosion with nipples and genitals conveniently obscured by two pixels of smoke. I know how certain people enjoy their “girls exist” shows, but this ain’t that flavor of trash. This is just somebody who had to pay the bills and porn wasn’t cutting it. What is this world coming to when smut doesn’t pay the bills?
Preseason Swing Rating:
One unplucked daisy.
Literally Toxic Relationships
Marriagetoxin
https://www.marriagetoxin-anime.com/
Studio: Bones
Genre: Actionish
Premieres April 7th
Show Premise:
Assassin gets dating advice.
Random Thoughts:
A second Bones action show? In one season? Then again, this seems to be where the Metallic Rouge production staff ended up, and that was… a show that existed and was not at all a disaster on every front. This is an adaptation instead of original, but it is a Jump one, which means a whole lot of overreactions and screaming at the camera. It is ostensibly about super powered do-gooders fighting crime and whatnot, but… man, Jump. And the promos are already leaning into boob shots and him going BWAAAGH!? I have less hope for this one than I do for the not-Pokemon Bones show.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Wait until Japan discovers Tinder.
The Princess Knight is a Barbarian’s Bride
https://himekishi-anime.com/
Studio: Juumondou
Genre: Drama
Premieres April 9th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Christ, Juumondou. I wish they’d go back to just making porn. They are a terrible studio, and the CGI in the promos for this legitimately looks bad enough that I suspect it’s generative AI. It’s another one of these, in any case, where the hapless waif is forced to marry the evil king, but it turns out he’s actually just some regular dude who dresses in black. At least nobody’s reincarnated or a villainess. Is that a step forward, or back? And don’t worry, the dude shaves his face and instantly reverts to the same pointy chinned pretty boys as in all the other shows. Yes, the guy in that image is supposedly a teenager. This is what Japan calls 18 year olds now.
Preseason Swing Rating:
This is what an anime 45 year old looks like.
Kill Blue
https://kill-blue.jp/
Studio: CUE
Genre: Comedy?
Premieres April 11th
Show Premise:
Assassin gets de-aged and goes to middle school.
Random Thoughts:
And of course it’s to bodyguard some girl who of course they have to pretend to be dating. And of course of course it’s Jump. There are martial occupations besides assassin, detective, and yakuza, you know. Anyway, halfway between Conan and Tokyo Revengers, in all regards. It’s by the same author as Kuroko’s Basketball as well, so full Jump here. It was also funny looking up anything about it because the reception seems to be a pretty universal “meh.” In a medium where everybody is rabid about everything and anything less than 8/10 is taken as a slight, that feels like it’s probably not good. You’d think that’d be an opportunity to strike out on your own and learn from the mistakes, but that’s not how anime adaptations work. Apparently it eventually remembers that the dude is a hitman, but spends a long time having pissing matches against the token ‘geniuses’ of the school and overdramatizing the usual school things, home ec and school festivals and whatnot. Can’t say much sounds exciting here, especially with the promise of an eventual hasty and haphazard ending from getting axed.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Ya winning, kids?
Wrapup:
Well, it started and ended less than great, but there was that bit in the middle, right? Maybe? There’s magical girls hitting each other with chainsaws, though then again, the last time we had that was Magical Destroyers, and good lord, we do not need more of that. What’s even happened to all the gacha adaptations? Those dried up fast. I also still have that thing I was supposed to do a writeup on about four months ago, the draft of which stares awkwardly at me as I groan and don’t want to touch it for another month. Not that it’s significant, as it’s more of an unfinished project that I don’t expect announcement of to cause it to finish, but it would be nice to not have it sitting around. Staring at me. Mocking me for my reluctance to finish it. Eventually.
