I hope you like Mary Sues.
Aaaand we’re back to half the shows being some combination of being reincarnated, having cheat powers, or being a girl wrongfully accused by a prince. Occasionally all three. With two already aired, technically three with that Korean thing which I’ve skimmed, and not eager to actually sit down and watch. As you’d expect of Temu Solo Leveling, it ain’t great. That also includes the list of sequels, and it’s another beefy one. Summers seasons are… numerous. Probably cheaper to buy air time when nobody’s watching TV. Here’s your list of shame.
Jobless Reincarnation
Tanya the Evil
Skeleton Knight Reincarnation
Bumpkin to Swordsman
Hell Mode Reincarnation
Otome Game NPC
Bleach
Polar Opposites
Elusive Sammy
Grand Blue
Clevatess
100 Girlfriends
Lumiere
Full Blossom
Azur Lane
Samurai Troopers
I actually mostly liked Elusive Samurai, if for its trippy ass visuals and laissez faire attitude towards art styles. Good use of an ensemble cast too, something I always appreciate. The rest… well, it’s a reflection of the rest of the season. A whole lot of cheat power, dudes who got to level 9999 already but were sent to the boonies, and fanservice. The one sort of nice thing is that it feels like we’ve almost entirely put the revenge power fantasy thing entirely behind us. Let’s move on to the worst of what remains.
Yet MORE Goddamned Cheat Power Reincarnation Garbage
Heroine? Saint? No, I’m Proudly an All Works Maid
https://all-works-maid-anime.com/
Studio: EMT Squared
Genre: Comedy?
Premieres June 24th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Reincarnated in game. Cheat power. Wants to be average. Beset on all sides by pretty boy princes vying for her attention. Copious status screen popups explaining her RPG stats. Yada yada blah blah etc etc. This is by the same person as that godawful Appraiser cheat power show from last season. You really can just crap this garbage out, can’t you? She doesn’t even do any cheat power maiding either. She just wants to be a maid. Because… maids. Twenty years late for that fad. You ain’t even Mahoro.
Preseason Swing Rating:
This cat has more self respect.
The Invincible Academy’s Failed Sage – The Story of a Twice Reincarnated S Rank Mage Adventurer with Cheat Powers
https://rakudai-anime.com/
Studio: EMT Squared
Genre: Trash
Premieres June 25th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
I feel like I need to point out that the title is actually changed from the light novel. It’s actually “The Strongest Sage, Reincarnated Twice, Conquers the World 400 Years Later with a Magic Sword.” They needed to include that he has a magic sword. That’s the missing spice that the premise needed. Sure, it’s cool that he reincarnated, sucked, got reincarnated again and this time had cheat powers, but is that enough? No. It needs something more. A sword. Yes. That’s it. That’s the last piece of the puzzle. And yet, they saw that, thought it wasn’t generic enough for anime audiences, and decided to make it even more generic. A particularly fanservice heavy flavor of this garbage by the promos, though the first episode didn’t have too much of that. But that’s all it has going for it. The promos contain boobs. The actual episode contains a lecture on how he has no power level, but actually has a cheat power, and gets more cheat powers. …Great.
Preseason Swing Rating:
It’s not even a fancy sword either!
The Exiled Heavy Knight Unleashes His Unrivaled Power Through His Game Knowledge
https://sh-anime.shochiku.co.jp/jukishi-anime/
Studio: GoHands
Genre: Eyestrain
Premieres July 2nd
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
GoHands, what are you doing? I expect so little from your writing, but I expect much, much better than this. It is an adaptation, but still. You know the drill. His class is heavy knight, which is supposedly the weakest, but because he’s reincarnated into an MMO, he knows the exploit that makes it actually the strongest. Why is it the strongest? Because it can counter literally anything as long as you know how. Thta’s convenient. And let’s see the fanservice sidekick. She was kicked out of the party for having the useless ability of super duper ultra luck. The hits keep coming. It’s still in GoHands jank-ass art and animation style where everything is way too colorful, there’s way too much CGI poorly blended with the 2D, and massively, MASSIVELY overanimated in promos and episode 1 so that episodes 3-10 can be slideshows. Stop, already. You lost me at the title.
Preseason Swing Rating:
I like how there’s one full outfit between all three of them combined.
The World’s Strongest Rearguard – A New Adventurer in the Dungeon Kingdom
https://degarashiouji.com/
Studio: Maho Film
Genre: Stop
Premieres July 5th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Let’s sing it together. Reincarnated. Picks the support class which nobody ever picks because it’s OBVIOUSLY the worst. But oops, it’s actually the best and he can use everything, do everything, be everything, all his skills appear as errors on the official status screens so everybody still believes he’s the worst, and his party is all teenage girls who fawn over his ability to emit protagonist juices. Promos are half status screens, half people just standing there glowing. I don’t want to waste brain cells on this garbage.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Animatable on the Gameboy Advance.
The Abandoned Saint’s Cooking Travels in Another World – I Summoned a Camper Van With My Hidden Skill
https://isekai-gohantabi.com/
Studio: EMT Squared
Genre: Tacos
Premieres July 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Can you see my eye twitching? It is. The magical scanner errors on her, so they kick her out, but she can summon a pocket dimension as an RV and is functionally immortal and invulnerable. So she becomes a traveling cook and solves… uh… salt blockades? Is that right? Apparently so. With shocking reveals like it being a game world, and somebody else has too much power level and so they need to level up through food. And traveling. Anime industry. This thing you keep doing. You need to rethink your priorities.
Preseason Swing Rating:
It’s a tomato, not a cheat power.
I’m Level 9999 and an Outcast, But NOT Reincarnated
The Cat and Dragon
https://nekoryuu-pr.com/
Studio: OLM
Genre: Drama
Premieres June 27th
Show Premise:
Cats adopt dragon.
Random Thoughts:
The light novel is an anthology of various cats going and doing things with people while the dragon, pretending to be a cat, watches over them. One cat goes to live at an orphanage. One is adopted by a prince. One becomes a witch’s familiar. So on and so forth. All while the dragon helicopter parents over them. It does seem pretty half-assed for OLM, whose shows usually look pretty decent, but the promos are almost all stills. I’m not sure there’s much to animate anyway though. It’s all saccharine heartwarming stories about cats Doing Their Best, largely by just being cats. And do you know anything about cats? They’re right bastards.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Two pugs, because these genetic deformations still aren’t cats.
The Level 999 Villager
https://lv999-anime.com/
Studio: Brain’s Base
Genre: Not Knowing How to Draw Medieval Clothing
Premieres July 1st
Show Premise:
What do you think.
Random Thoughts:
He’s the weakest class, but he grinds for twenty years, and now he has maximum power, which literally nobody ever thought to do before. Literally the first thing the promo does is pop up a status screen showing he’s level 999. The second thing is that the obligatory demihuman child slave wife yells that he has to marry her. Promos are barely animated. The premise is abhorrent. Everything about this appears godawful. Keep aiming for the highest heights, anime industry.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Stop making me miss Chainsaw Man.
I Said To Leave it To Me and Go On Ahead, and Ten Years Later, I Had Become a Legend
https://kokoore-anime.com/
Studio: Gekkou
Genre: Not Found
Premieres July 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
It’s worse than the title actually. His special ability is that he absorbs magic that was used against him, and so he absorbed all the monsters he fought and has the power of having all powers and all the strongest artifacts ever created, but because he was youth-i-sized after his time in the void or whatever, he’s an F rank adventurer. But WAIT, it gets even worse. His harem includes his former friends daughters. Which means that the big twist on the formula is that his party retired instead of kicking him out, and he transmigrated instead of reincarnated. …Cool. Moving on.
Preseason Swing Rating:
This is not very jiggy.
The Strongest Prince’s Secret Battle for the Throne – An SS Rank Prince Pretends to be Inept While Controlling the War Over the Kingdom’s Succession From the Shadows
https://strongestrearguard-anime.com/
Studio: Maho Film
Genre: Insipidness
Premieres July 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
“Strongest” being officially translated as “Insipid” for reasons I can’t even begin to imagine. And technically, the adapation cuts off the second part of the LN’s title, but let’s include it. Because these things need that extra spice. The foppish dude actually being a badass is a well worn trope that’s not always awful, from the Scarlet Pimpernell to Spiderman, or I guess something like Vash from Trigun, or Sword from Vanishing Line if you need an anime version.This does not appear to be one of those times. For one, the animation in the promos is non-existent, so even if he was some flavor of Batman, you ain’t getting action scenes out of it. For two, his identity is an open secret to like half the people he knows. At least he’s not reincarnated. Still part of the official guild class ranking system assigning him a grade to specify how much of being the best he is though.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Truly insipid.
Tomb Raider King
https://tombraiderking-pr.com/
Studio: STUDIO EEK
Genre: EEK
Premieres July 8th* (two episode early permiere in June)
Show Premise:
Dude raids tombs.
Random Thoughts:
Another Korean comic that’s more or less a knockoff of Solo Leveling. Relics make you a god and are super rare, but he has all of them that give him the power to do all things at all times and only he can use them to their full power because he’s just that special due to previous relic reincarnation time loop shenanigans. This is sort of noteworthy since it’s part of Korea’s big budget infusion to spread culture stuff… but their advertisement for it is how much this project is going to focus on AI. The studio itself has remained fairly mum and it really just looks like a low budget half-assed anime, complete with poorly blended CGI monsters. If they were using gen AI, you’d think they’d at least not also be mixing in jank CGI, but what do I know?
Preseason Swing Rating:
I have no sprites of Eek the Cat, so here’s a robin.
The Frontier Lord Who Began with Zero Subjects
https://ryomin0-anime.com/
Studio: animation studio42
Genre: Enough Already
Premieres July 10th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Middle aged dude. Bestest warrior ever. Takes town from nothing to bestest ever overnight through sheer gumption and not being racist to all the sexy teenagers who want to get with him. Magical girlfriend wait no it’s his 15 year old demihuman slave wife. One of the first things in the promo is the slave wife screaming EEEEEHHHHHHH!? And then he screams EEEEEEHHHHHHH!? But don’t worry, there’s action stills too. Hope you weren’t expecting animation, cause you’re not getting it. You are getting, and this will come as a shock and not all foreshadowing for the next half-dozen shows, a teenage slave wife.
Preseason Swing Rating:
EEEEEEEEEHHHHH!
Sold Into Sexual Slavery and Loving It
The Oblivious Saint is Once Again Wasting Her Power – It Turns Out that the Saint of this Generation Wasn’t My Older Sister, It Was Me, the Youngest Sister
https://mujikaku-seijo.com/
Studio: Magic Bus
Genre: Girl Power!
Premieres June 30th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Once again, from the top. Abused by her family as a failure because the magical scanner errors on her, sent off to marry the evil count of the neighboring country, who’s actually super duper great, and she’s the best cinnamon roll at literally everything, and adored by everyone in her new kingdom for her inner greatness and destined destinyness. Sure, we’ve stopped reincarnating characters for this crap, but we’re still doing the same damn thing, and removing that minor part of the premise is like removing a single quill from an entire face full of an encounter with a porcupine’s ass.
Preseason Swing Rating:
This season is a grindstone.
Sorry About My Little Brothers
https://uchioto-anime.com/
Studio: Lay-duce
Genre: Girl Power
Premieres July 3rd
Show Premise:
Girl has stepbrothers.
Random Thoughts:
This is a harem affair, clearly, and yes, technically the least slavery oriented. Just stepsibling porn obligatoriness. Feels like it’s been a while, and it’s usually a dude getting a pack of ravenous horny stepsisters, but look at the gender equality on display. There is no mistaking the manga either. Every cover has her nestled and blushing in the arms of each one in turn. Each one a different flavor of pretty boy, from blonde with toussled hair to glasses to quirky boy in hood. But oh no. She has to pretend to date one and another is Romeo in the play where she’s Juliet. But they’re brother and sister! What a heart pounding romcom this has become. More creativity goes into the wealth of stepsibling porn. Where’s the competitive spirit, Japan? Can’t you at least think of SOMETHING new for them to get stuck in?
Preseason Swing Rating:
A premise older that the gamecube.
For Some Reason, The Future Duke Who Said “I Have No Intentions of Loving You” Began Doting on Me
https://kimiai-anime.com/
Studio: Zero-G
Genre: Girl Power!
Premieres July 4th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
I’m running out of ways to say “repeat this.” She’s married off to a random duke for political reasons. He says he’s a big meanie, but is actually super nice. And she’s the cinnamonest cinnamon roll to ever prance and mince about the court, beloved by all for her innocent innocentness and ability to emit sparkles on cue whenever she smiles. He respects her so much that he’s not going to control her in this arranged marriage, but that just makes them both more attracted to each other. But their love is tested by… their insecurity, I guess. However will they overcome the harsh trials of nothing that they face and get together in their marriage that they already have? Who hears wedding bells? Everyone, because it already happened, and I don’t know what we’re wibbling over.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Goddamn, these brats are dumb.
The Oni’s Bride
https://onihana-anime.com/
Studio: Colored Pencil Animation Japan
Genre: Girl Power!
Premieres July 4th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
This is a villainess thing in all but name. She’s rejected by her boyfriend, unjustly accused by him and her super elite sister who he wants to get with, driven out, and taken in by the local bad boy who’s also a noble, but dark and mean, except not really at all. There’s also the extra awfulness of its premise, being that demons live among regular people and have a sixth sense for who their ‘brides’ are, and it’s a massive social faux pas to reject them if they choose you. So, sure, take our teenage daughter as your slave wife. It’s a great honor for all of us. Except not you. You’re a Bad Boy. With your dark hair and scowling. We only like fox demons, not oni demons. Only the pure hearted heroine can see your true goodness. Your heroine teenage slave wife. Yep. Fantastic. No notes.
Preseason Swing Rating:
I’d rather read saucy Sonic fanfiction.
Goodbye, Lara
https://goodbyelara.com/
Studio: Kinema Citrus
Genre: Girl Power!
Premieres July 5th
Show Premise:
The little mermaid comes back to life, goes to high school.
Random Thoughts:
This is an original, so there’s naught to go on but the weird premise of “What if the Little Mermaid’s ending wasn’t sad at all, and she randomly came back to life 200 years later to have a redo?” Which is super weird on its own. Why not just do the Little Mermaid then? Why are we messing around with all this reincarnation nonsense? Ah, because it specifically takes place in the modern times and specifically at Lake Biwa. Sorry, Hans Christian Andersen. You’re WAAAAAY too Dutch for the board of anime tourism, despite the love interest looking like he probably shoved a few witches who live in houses made of candy into ovens as a child. The promos aren’t very interesting, just girls running about or tearfully staring off into the distance. Uh, it’s a Little Mermaid adaptation, where the big change is no mermaid and way more high school? Do I have that straight? You watched the Little Mermaid and were mad that there was so much mermaid, but still wanted it to be a mermaid, just not have any mermaids? Am I really understanding this? Probably, yes.
Preseason Swing Rating:
You’re really ignoring the recent sexy goblin trends for THIS, anime?
History! Without Gender Swapped Nobunaga Oda!
The World is Dancing
https://sh-anime.shochiku.co.jp/worldisdancing-anime/en/
Studio: Cypic
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 2nd
Show Premise:
14th century boy is a dancer.
Random Thoughts:
Another historical fiction thing, about Motokiyo Zeami and pals, who was the father of Noh drama or something? Thanks, Wikipedia. I’m not really sure what’s with all the stuff about classical arts anime is producing lately. It doesn’t look any different from any of the other hobby things though, whether rakugo, bowling, origami, or doing laundry. I’d understand if someone was passionate about Noh and wanted to highlight that, but anime has a superficiality problem and doesn’t actually engage with the subject matter, but rather how much the audience oohs and aahs over it. I’m sure Noh is probably interesting, but there’s more to it than the same rotoscoped dancing as in a hundred other shows. At least it’s not CGI. At least, not yet.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Dance like nobody is watching.
Recommended by Iwamoto
https://iwamoto-anime.com/
Studio: Studio Deen
Genre: Sad Boys
Premieres July 4th
Show Premise:
Early 20th century dude investigates supernatural stuff.
Random Thoughts:
A Jump manga by the Nura guy, and actually kind of hard to find much on despite having been around since 2021. Every chapter seems to be a very standard template. Some place with some curse. He and possibly one of his boy buddies investigates and discovers someone suffering. Tells them he wants to save them, and if they’re still alive, sends them off to Professor X’s school for psychic teenagers, or if they’re already dead, they pass on. There’s not a lot of variety and certainly not fighting, despite him holding a sword. It’s for decorative purposes to give him emo boy cred. He mostly face tanks whatever the flailing of the chapter is to specify understanding and tolerance. It’s Deen, so it’s not going to be well made.
Preseason Swing Rating:
With a side of tourism.
The Jaadugar of the Tent
https://anime-jaadugar.com/
Studio: Science SARU
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 4th (one hour premiere)
Show Premise:
Slave girl plots revenge against the Mongols.
Random Thoughts:
Also known as “A Witch’s Life in Mongol,” because I doubt many people know that jaadugar is Persian for witch. This is meant to be historical fiction about Fatima, a slave who managed to rise through the Mongol ranks until being accused of witchcraft for being a woman, having all her orifices sewn shut, and everyone in her orbit murdered. Oh, history. You’re so quirky. Not that Fatima herself was blameless. You don’t become a grand poobah in the Mongol hordes through flower arranging and needlework. Well, maybe a particular kind of very pointed needles. The manga does try to hew pretty close to historical accuracy and cultural… uh, neutrality, rather than having literal witchcraft. It is a historical politcal intrigue thing, and despite the art style, a fairly grim one at that, although the promo seems to really be playing up the pretty boy dude teaching her how stop being such a spoiled childish savage. Not usually my flavor, but anything that’s not cheat powers gets an automatic passing grade for I hesitate to say originality, but NOT being that.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Four Mongol encampments.
20th Century Electricity Catalog – Eureka Evrika
http://denkimokuroku.jp/
Studio: Kyoto Animation
Genre: Tourism
Premieres July 5th
Show Premise:
Teenagers in 1907 run away from home and look for a book of electric prophecies one already wrote.
Random Thoughts:
Uh… huh. Also known in English as Sparks of Tomorrow. To make it weirder, it claims to be an alternate history where steam power was king, but this is early 20th century. The lightbulb wasn’t invented until around 1880. What are you even talking about? It’s just a nonsense way to make the dude seem extra special and going against society’s norms, despite those norms being having to fabricate up super steam technology that never existed in the first place. Also, he wrote this super special book of prophecies as a child, but by 15, had forgotten all of them. As you do. …Yeah, this is feeling just a tad contrived. But also, none of it matters! Because at the end of this, it’s a single… SINGLE… light novel that’s just two kids going on a tour of Japan so they can ooh and aah at the cultural landmarks. Fantastic. We certainly don’t get enough of those. It is Kyoto Animation, so will no doubt be overanimated as hell, but the amount of ‘comical’ screaming in the promos, not to mention dramatic closeups of eyes, is already tiring me and making it seem no different from a hundred thousand other shows.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Dream of more fun electricity.
The Sky on the Banks of the Red River
https://www.vap.co.jp/sorahaakaikawanohotori/
Studio: Tatsunoko Production
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 7th
Show Premise:
Girl is transported to the Hittite Empire.
Random Thoughts:
What’s with all the historical fiction this season? Another shoujo drama thing where she’s whisked away, to around 1350 BC, the evil step mom wants to murder her, and has only the handsome prince who is mysteriously drawn to her pluck and verve to save her. Also, her encyclopedic knowledge of history, physics, metallurgy, gymnastics, archery, public speaking, war tactics, and sanitation. What a capable 15 year old just like every other 15 year old. Like the Mongol thing with Science Saru, Tatsunoko is an interesting studio here, but the manga is a very, very, VERY long haul, none of the staff are noteworthy, and the promos also don’t have much more than a tour of all the pretty boys who’ll be having a pissing match over her.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Why isn’t anybody getting time warped to the Caribbean?
Things in Modernity That Are Not Meant to Be
Yanineko
https://yanineko-anime.com/
Studio: Bibury Animation Studio
Genre: Degeneracy
Premieres July 2nd
Show Premise:
Cat girl smokes a lot.
Random Thoughts:
Known in English as Chainsmoker Cat, because just putting the character’s name as the title isn’t catchy, though yani does mean tobacco. Most of the cast has similar pun names for various vices. Alneko for the alcoholic one, Drugneko for the drug one, Sexneko for… uh, yeah, and the most creative and viciest of them all, Kansaineko for the one from Kansai. …Okay. Can’t imagine how this apparently struggled to get picked up. It is, obviously by the existence of the sex one, trashy fanservice. Supposedly comedy, but half the PV is undressing or in the bath, and the comedy is overreaction yelling. But mostly trashy catgirls being trash people with a side of trying to sell cigarettes. Weird thing to be pushing in 2026, but it still ain’t cheat powers.
Preseason Swing Rating:
This is what 60 years of inbreeding catgirls for show has gotten us.
Modern Day Dara
https://darasan-anime.com/
Studio: Asahi Production
Genre: Fetishism
Premieres July 2nd
Show Premise:
Half snake demon lady struggles with modernity.
Random Thoughts:
The manga is another mix of horror and blatant fetishism. As in the author is on record saying “I wanted to use it to explore my fetishes.” Since two of the main characters are androgynous kids who preach their rejection of gender stereotypes unlike you outdated old people, the title character is a topless four armed snake woman, and another side character is an adult woman who overtly wants to sleep with one of the kids and is impatiently waiting for that to become legal, so aroused that she’s in a constant flop sweat, it bears asking “which fetish exactly.” The answer is probably all of them. It’s at least sort of veering towards a comedy that doesn’t rely on people going “EEEEEHHHHH!?”, but instead it has characters that either appear monstrous but are actually innocent, or vice versa. Either that, or long asides into her backstory about being a bloody revenge snake monster. Or makes up a fake history of not-Street Fighter. Or not-Power Rangers. It’s scattered, to put it lightly. Not a reincarnation show, but I’m not really sure what to say about it past that because it appears to be trying to be all things at once. Well, except animation. Because Asahi is terrible (Teogonia, Monster Meat).
Preseason Swing Rating:
It’s a me, Bone-io.
Thunder 3
https://thunder3-anime.com/
Studio: ?????
Genre: What a Twist
Premieres July 8th
Show Premise:
Kids end up in a parallel world.
Random Thoughts:
This one is playing a lot of cards close to the vest because it has a twist to its premise, so if you care about that, skip on to the next. Basically, they’re a trio of gag anime kids that end up with superpowers in a hyper realistic world beset by monsters and whatnot. It’s often compared to Gantz in style and rumored to be done by the same author under a pen name. The promos are only showing the gag stuff, with a very janky CGI style, that I’m not sure if the whole thing is going to be like that, or if it’s going to be similar to To Be Hero X in that it’s blending styles for artistic reasons. I hope the latter, but I suspect the former. And since it’s not announcing anything at all about the staff or even studio, it’s really going out of its way to hide the twist here to create buzz later. It shows some marketing savvy if nothing else, though I may just be mad at it if it does turn out to be entirely that jank-ass CGI nonsense that I will want nothing to do with.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Bzhiziqenainpadbnasdw
Hanaori Still Wants to Fight After Reincarnation
https://hanaorisan-anime.com/
Studio: LIDENFILMS
Genre: Comedy
Premieres July 11th
Show Premise:
Demon lord and magical girl are reincarnated.
Random Thoughts:
Essentially a four panel gag comedy deal. Despite the first chapter being more ‘plot’ oriented, in that it spends a long time explaining the premise, most chapters after that are around five pages long, with each page being their own separate thing, all ending with someone making a blobby face. Occasionally it gets more cohesive, but rarely for long. The start also really goes for the fanservice side, with a bunch of tripping and falling into compromising positions, but other than every character wearing form fitting shirts, having future back problems, and the monster with a vagina for a face, it’s not really that either. Mostly walls of text with blobby faces and the occasional “EEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!?”
Preseason Swing Rating:
A what for a face, you say?.
Deeply Toxic Heterosexual Romances… WITHOUT Slavery
Monster Maiden Caramelise
https://otomekaiju.com/
Studio: LIDENFILMS
Genre: Comedy
Premieres July 2nd
Show Premise:
Girl turns into giant monster when flustered.
Random Thoughts:
Despite the premise, this is mainly pretty banal shoujo rom com. She’s the gloomy wallflower. He’s the pretty boy who fawns over her for no real reason. But once a chapter, they get bored and draw Godzilla. Or in the anime’s case, an ugly CGI Godzilla. Couldn’t we at least do a corny rubber suit? Most of the jokes are that she starts growing claws or a tail when she gets embarrassed, but always conveniently keeps all of it a secret through extreme levels of contrivance. The promo does seem to be playing up the kaijuu side more than the manga, but it’s definitely not action oriented, not even to the levels of any of those sentai-villainess romance things that were a brief fad a few years back. I guess this is probably in the same vein as those, but more girly oriented. IE Less boobs, more starry eyes and pastels.
Preseason Swing Rating:
What? We’ve given up sexualizing giant robots?
Caring for the Genius Girl – At a Prestigious School Full of Unattainable Beautiful Girls, I Secretly Have the Job of Taking Care of the Top Rich Girl (Who Has No Life Skills)
https://saijonoosewa-anime.com/
Studio: Brain’s Base
Genre: Shampoo Sales
Premieres July 4th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
…Sweet baby Jesus, what is that title. For a show that’s pretending to be Ladies vs Butlers, or Princess Lover, or any of a hojillion other ones of those ojou based harems from fifteen years ago, but without the fanservice, but is actually a knockoff of Umaru, right down to her transforming into a blob wrapped in a blanket and acting like a three year old. If you’re removing the fanservice, what’s the point? You’d at least be FOR something, even if it’s just boobs. I guess he still bathes her and combs her hair, but platonically. Which is definitely a thing teenagers do. What ever happened to the whole ringlet thing anyway? Did we all collectively decide that the obnoxious “Ohoho” laugh was going to exclusively be for those villainess shows and no others?
Preseason Swing Rating:
Eat the rich, literally or figuratively.
The Pretty and Pure Girl at my New School is Actually a Childhood Friend I Used to Play With and I Thought She Was a Boy
https://tenbin-anime.asmik-ace.co.jp/
Studio: project No.9
Genre: Titular
Premieres July 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
A more ambitious show would’ve made the entire harem be his secrety tomboy childhood friends. Different flavors of tomboys. Lean into that… can you even call it a fetish? Style? Fashion? Archetype? But no. It’s just a generic high school harem supposed rom com, yet not seeming to contain either romance or comedy. Not even fanservice, which is unusual for Project 9, but I’m sure they’re just being coy about the cleavage, or her rubbing herself all over him. I’m sure it’ll come soon enough. There’s not much more to it either. It’s not like it’s a whole slew of tomboys or anything like that. Just another utterly generic totally-not-a-harem-but-totally-is.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Is this an omelet? Seriously. Why did I save this sprite?
I Fell in Love With You As We Ran Under the Clear Night Sky, a Love That Cannot Be Seen
https://sh-anime.shochiku.co.jp/kakekoi/
Studio: Makaria
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 6th
Show Premise:
Boy has crush on blind girl.
Random Thoughts:
Did you know that blind people are people? It’s crazy, but true. Something that our protagonist never considered. The light novel is ultra melodramatic. Don’t expect much of a cutesy antisocial boy meets quirky dream girl who fawns over him because of his generic genericness. There certainly is that to start, but she’s not just blind, she has super duper mega cancer and so every moment is precious, and goes all Munchausen syndrome to make people stop caring about her, but that just makes him care about her even more, and we’re not even done with the first volume. Granted, there are only two, which is rarely a good sign for pacing given the anime industry’s stance towards adapting. All the more melodrama to wring out, I suppose.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Embrace tranquility.
The Few Shows With Hostile Supernatural Entities
BLACK TORCH
https://blacktorch-anime.com/
Studio: 100studio
Genre: Action
Premieres July 4th
Show Premise:
Dude fights monsters.
Random Thoughts:
It’s Jump, so you know the drill. Dude bonds with magical pet monster that seems cutesy but is actually the destined super omega demon of all powerfulness. Joins team of similarly radical teenagers with themed super powers. Spends a few volumes training at school for radical teenagers. Fight like one monster and then learn about a team of radical EVIL teen monsters. And then, oops, the manga gets canceled at five volumes. At least that means they don’t need to stretch things out to go on forever. 100studio is the creator of shows like Quality Control in Another World, not exactly known for high quality, ironically enough, and another notch for why everything about this thing may be extraordinarily poorly advised. The promos admittedly do look action oriented, albeit with way too many closeups of eyes and extremely generic shounen, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Contains no torches or black people.
Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha EXCEEDS Gun Blaze Vengeance
https://nanoha.com/EXGV/
Studio: Seven Arcs
Genre: Blood From a Stone
Premieres July 4th (one hour premiere)
Show Premise:
Magical girls fight things.
Random Thoughts:
A long, long time ago, on the other side of the country, I was a Nanoha fan. The third season was one of the first shows I wrote about.. nearly TWENTY years ago. That went away a bit with all the awful sequels and spinoffs that decided to alternatively excise everything exciting about the series or just straight up remake the series as movies, pitching them as a new continuity, then changing virtually nothing except the usual editing to shorten runtime. This SOMEHOW not been a success, they removed the branding from the third movie that it was… uh, a third movie, declared it to be a total reboot and third timeline separate from the other two but taking place after the events of those movies, and released it as a duology that’s like 75% explosions, being so popular and well received that it killed the franchise for almost ten years. Now we are here. With what is supposedly a sequel to that duology, with a new cast, and almost entirely different staff from either the movies or the old series. But look, you can see Nanoha and Fate in the corner of the promo image. Also the promos have these new characters bloodily blowing up skeleton dogs, definitely a hallmark of the franchise. …Really seems like you’ve just got Nanoha and Fate playing cameo characters in your utterly generic action show. Mind you, I’d be okay with a generic monster killing super power girls show, but this reeks of desperation for a franchise that has already squandered virtually all of its good will and slapping the franchise name onto it in hopes of recapturing the slightest amount of its old cachet. I think I’d legitimately be more hopeful if it had nothing to do with Nanoha whatsoever.
Preseason Swing Rating:
I mean, as long as they have guns, I guess.
Let’s Go, Mystery Club
https://kaikigumi.com/
Studio: C-Station
Genre: Loud Yelling
Premieres July 5th (Prime Time)
Show Premise:
Dude joins ghost hunting club.
Random Thoughts:
Half the promo is just the guy yelling “AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” in slightly different intonations. So I guess that means that it’s intended to be a gag comedy, especially with all the dudes looking like they swallowed an entire refrigerator. Did these guys come straight from Gears of War? They look like someone put a school uniform on a literal brick. And mouths that open to cover their entire face. Really looks like the standard spooky girl thing that we get one or two of a season. It’s purely gag as near as I can tell, with the occasional bikini ghost, none of the spooky stuff even to the level of Kaya Isn’t Scary, or fanservice like Mieruko. She… uh… has big eyes. And there’s lots of overreactions.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Peak male form.
The Ghost in the Shell
https://www.theghostintheshell-anime.jp/
Studio: Science SARU
Genre: Action
Premieres July 7th
Show Premise:
Ghost are in shells.
Random Thoughts:
Yeah, yeah. We all know GitS. I can appreciate the old movie and series, moreso the former. I’m not sure this new one will be anywhere near as iconic though. Like a lot of these second go-round at adapting manga from 30-40 years ago, the promos appear to really, REALLY be leaning into being as 80s as possible for maximum verisimilitude, and I’m not sure that too many people were thinking what the original versions were missing was Motoko doing giant eyed pratfalls for comedy or looking like she just got back from Sweatin’ to the Oldies with Richard Simmons. The original manga is goofy and fanservicey, much closer to stuff like Burn Up or Gunsmith Cats. Which admittedly, is more my flavor, but I continue to not be a fan philosophically speaking of these re-adaptations with the goal solely of removing as much of ADAPTING as possible. We’ll see, but I am certain anybody expecting Stand Alone Complex’s tone or presentation is going to be very, very disappointed.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Use your 128 MB of RAM to hack the mainframe and download a human brain onto this floppy!
Mebius Dust
https://mebiusdust.asmik-ace.co.jp/
Studio: Doga Kobo
Genre: Coordinated Outfits
Premieres July 9th
Show Premise:
Teens have superpowers.
Random Thoughts:
An original, and yeah, that’s all there is to go off of. It’s part of Project Anima, a contest from 2017 to pitch original shows, the first two of which were Sakugan and Girls Who Couldn’t Become Magicians, so not a project that’s brought a lot of big successes. The theme for this one was kids/games, so I think they’re some kind of sports teams? It’s hard to tell what’s even going on the promos. There’s multiple groups of half a dozen people, one of which includes a talking dog, and they appear to be playing capture the flag, to they’re teams? They all have matching uniforms, there’s a referee, and a flag in any case. Great use of the power of demigods. I have no idea. But hey, it’s original, and it’s at least trying to be action oriented, even if it appears to be a weird mess.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Actually, it’s pronounced mœbius.
Sports and Leisure
Draw This Then Die
https://www.vap.co.jp/korekaite-shine/
Studio: Shin-Ei Animation
Genre: Comedy
Premieres July 3rd
Show Premise:
Girl draws manga.
Random Thoughts:
Sadly, not a spinoff of Read or Die, though it feels weird they’ve left that franchise to rot now that I think about it. Just a banal thing about a girl who starts a manga club when she finds out her teacher is secretly her favorite manga author who hates the industry. But through their hard work and passion, they Do Their Best and do manga. By which I mean ooh and aah over art and imagine themselves in it. Generic art. Not even any specific manga. This ain’t GA Art Class, or even Comic Party. But if you’re looking for another superficial hobby thing with half the budget of Eizouken, I guess this exists to fill the void left by all the girls in clubs shows getting devoured by villainess affairs.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Brought to you by energy drinks.
Grow Up Show – The Sunflower Circus Troupe
https://growupshow.com/
Studio: A-1 Pictures
Genre: Circusing
Premieres July 4th
Show Premise:
Girls join a circus club.
Random Thoughts:
As if being in a… uh… circus club wasn’t already weird enough, they’re apparently competing to go to the big circus regionals and qualify for the circus nationals. Also, this is the kind of circus that only does trapeze and juggling. So not even really a circus. Just a trapeze club. With a really weird premise. It’s an original show too, so there’s only that nonsense to go off of. I don’t even have any hope that it’ll spiral out of control like that one bowling show that randomly had time travel since it’s being written by the same boring dude as “How To Train a Boring Girlfriend” and is likely to be just as tedious, only about trapeze rather than manga. And trapeze regionals. Which are definitely a thing.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Really? No animal acts? Do you even circus?
Iron Wok Jan!
https://tetsujan.com/
Studio: TROYCA
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 5th (Prime Time)
Show Premise:
Dude cooks angrily.
Random Thoughts:
A shounen thing, which means lots of yelling, overreactions, and absurdity. There’s a food critic in the third or fourth chapter who he stuns into an orgasmic stupor with his soup. He learns the valuable lesson that you can’t always just double a recipe and not also account for cooking time. His rival is… a GIRL!? The usual brainless stuff like that. Maybe a little light on the food reactions and food porn in general, but just to make more room for generic action shots of him waving woks and ingredients around or yelling at people that they don’t understand the true soul of cooking, so they can yell back that he doesn’t understand the heart of cooking. Children, you’re both idiots. Please stop licking the cleaver. Nobody wants your spit on their onions.
Preseason Swing Rating:
I’m just here for a burger, dude.
Dodge Danko – The Fiery Dodgeball Girl
https://dodge-danko.com/
Studio: CUE
Genre: Balls
Premieres July 6th
Show Premise:
Girl plays dodgeball.
Random Thoughts:
Technically a sequel to a 90s manga/anime where the big change is instead of being hot blooded boys doing dodgeball nonsense, it’s fanservice friendly girls in halter tops. It’s very gaggy and over the top, with things like literal cannons firing balls and weird human pyramid dodgeball trebuchet formations. Very far from the ostensible seriousness of the more ‘mature’ stuff like Prince of Tennis or Slam Dunk. Also, again, every character but the titular one has giant globes for chests and is usually in a bikini. Well, they’re certainly doing… something. And it’s not cheat powers, so kudos to them for that. This director has also done some weird fever trip stuff too (eg Magical Destroyers, BEM), so he does have a handle on retro nonsense.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Who doesn’t love big balls?
Good Game. Young Ladies Don’t Play Fighting Games
https://taiari-anime.com/
Studio: diomedea
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 7th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Brought to you by EVO registrations dropping by nearly 50% this year. I do know a thing or two about fighters. And yeah, they are indeed amping up the advertisements for actual games, as the manga uses a fake fighting game, but the promos are already just slapping in Street Fighter 6 footage. At least the partnership avoided something completely degenerate like Nen Impact or Invincible Vs. Nobody likes being touch of death’ed. Anyway, remember that show about girls in a rock band from a couple seasons back? Exact same thing, but with fighting games instead. They go to the fanciest of fancy girl schools, but gasp, they have a hobby unbecoming of elegance and scretly get excitable about it. The one denies her true self but yada yada single petal falling from flow thin facade for innocence/sexuality. And like all these, the more you actually know about fighting games, or video games at all, the more painful it will be. Do not expect jokes about Justin Wong screaming at children, or the world of weird fighting game degenerates. No. You’re going to learn what a command counter is, and how it’s the coolest thing ever because it means you predicted your opponent perfectly. Even that is only about two obligatory pages tossed in between twenty of the usual schtick of them all Doing Their Best and practicing for regionals.
Preseason Swing Rating:
I know your sins, Chun Li.
Unjustly Oppressed Women Overcoming Their Insecurities
The Furious Princess Wants Revenge – I’ll Destroy My Homeland with the Power of My Grimoires
https://buchigire-anime.com/
Studio: Studio Comet
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 6th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
We’re back to it. All together now. Rejected by her fiance. Imprisoned for crimes she didn’t commit. Flees to neighboring kingdom where the local pretty boy duke takes her in, and she becomes the best at everything using nothing but her pluck, verve, and array of demigod powers. I will say that there’s an unusual amount of gory bisecting of people in the promos, even if this villainess revenge crap is tediously played out. Even the ones about punching people rather than just being the most perfect cinnamon roll have not gone well. I somehow doubt Studio Comet will break that trend, since they’re pretty awful, and I can’t even cite shows because almost all their recent things are cheat power reincarnation dreck. At least someone’s getting carved up though. Better than not.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Cinnamon rolls technically kill you too.
Victoria Holds all the Cards
https://victoria-anime.com/
Studio: Studio Deen
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 7th
Show Premise:
Betrayed spy tries to live an ordinary life.
Random Thoughts:
Another super girl who’s an expert at everything just wanting to live an ordinary life, if not for that pesky pretty boy duke making starry eyes at her, and that helpless orphaned waif who needs a big sister figure. Kudos for coming up with something other than having an engagement called off and her just skipping town. That must’ve taken a lot of restraint. It ain’t the superhero nor MacGuyver flavor of spy, and the promos have zero of anything approaching exciting, unless you’re really wowed by some half-assed ballroom dancing, not that I expect much from Deen.
Preseason Swing Rating:
Meet the spy.
I Want to Love You Until You Die
https://kimishinu-anime.com/
Studio: Roll2
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 7th
Show Premise:
Magical girls go to school.
Random Thoughts:
You’ll probably see a lot of melodramatics about the premise, which claims to be about the girls being child soldiers, super weapons, horrible sacrifices, so on and so forth. Then you look at the manga, and it’s them having sleeopovers, going on picnics, chastely kissing on the cheeks, having baths together, having tea, having baths and sleepovers. Are they really tragic child soldiers if the most dangerous thing they face is a teacup and their feelings for each other and all that is happening somewhere offscreen? To other people? The promos seems to similarly half-ass it, being about 90% tea parties and snuggling in nighshirts and 10% pretending like they’re about to cast some kind of dramatic and exciting spell. Can’t say I’d expect much. Especially not from the studio whose biggest show so far was Love Can’t Be Split Between Twins. Certainly like their melodramatic girls, don’t they?
Preseason Swing Rating:
I’m broodin’ over here!
My Stepmother and Stepsisters Aren’t Wicked
https://ibikona-anime.com/
Studio: Newon
Genre: Comedy
Premieres July 8th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
The gag simply being that they’re drawn like stereotypical wicked step whatevers, but are just very excitable and super supportive. Which means that the gag is actually them going “AAAAAAAH!” And then she goes “EEEEEEHHHHH!?” With plenty of speedlines for both sides of this ‘conversation’ to fully maximize the amount of humor per decibel. Newon’s a new studio, and none of the staff have done much of anything. Only a few short PVs with barely any animation as well. Not really looking promising, even if the lack of any kind of actual plotline over reciting the joke in the title over and over again wasn’t a bad enough sign.
Preseason Swing Rating:
My stepgrandma isn’t fully unarmed.
Though I am an Unworthy Villainess – The Tale of the Butterfly-Rat Body Swap in the Court of Consorts
https://futsutsuka.net/
Studio: Doga Kobo
Genre: Drama
Premieres July 12th
Show Premise:
See title.
Random Thoughts:
Another one of those Chinese court harem-but-no-sex things like Apothecary Diaries, except with just enough magic so that the ‘butterfly’ of the court can body swap with the ‘rat,’ but not enough to throw fireballs. But she’s such a perfect cinnamon roll that she actually loves it because she was frail in her old body, wins over everybody, including the ‘evil’ girl, foils the true evil plotters, cures cancer, does your taxes, slices bread, straightens your hair, and spangles your sporgle. While not a villainess thing, is absolutely a villainess thing, just hopping on the Chinese harem angle to cash in on the fad. Transmigration ain’t that far from reincarnation though, and it’s not like you’re handing that body back.
Preseason Swing Rating:
What!? Not my sporgle.
Wrapup:
Oof, that’s certainly a season. Not sure why we’re getting all historical, which includes Elusive Samurai, but it’s interesting. As is one of these reboots that looked at the wildly popular previous version and said “Nah, don’t want any part of that,” even if it’s just to hew closer to the original manga. The cheat powers and villainess side of the coin will be… an ordeal, especially come July 4th which has I think 8 shows airing, including two hour long things. But we have a brief respite, not to mention Kanan and that Cat Butt show on Saturday and Sunday. Where I’ll be out of town, so they’ll be delayed. Also, nobody’s filed any issues on BB3’s git. You’re slacking, people. I’ve learned about new Windows backwards compatability issues that I hadn’t even realized existed. Which really puts a crimp on any thought of other things to work on. But anyway, summer awaits.
