Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’ve got a hankering for some high-octane sports nonsense, and thus feel it’s about time to get back to the course with Birdie Wing. The show’s first episode introduced us to underground golf ace Eve, who employs her devastating “Blue Bullet” drive to raise money for her family of orphans. After handily defeating two professional contenders, Eve ultimately met her match in the form of Aoi, an apparent legacy golfer whose diminutive stature belies her ability to smack balls really, really hard.
Eve’s preposterous concept aside, that blunt summary does little to evoke the delightful silliness of Birdie Wing in action. Eve has so far fired off golf balls between train cars and straight through trees, faced off with masked golf jesters, and even shot a pensive music video detailing her rough life on the fringes of Golftopia. The production is hitting that precise golden ratio of absurdity of concept versus commitment to mechanical drama, and I only imagine things will be getting even more charmingly preposterous as Eve is drawn further into the cutthroat underworld of high-stakes golfing. Let’s see how her bout with Aoi continues as we return to the course!
Episode 2
“Innocent Tyrant.” Presumably Aoi’s golf superhero name. Feel like golf would be a much more popular sport if it embraced wrestling titles and kayfabe rivalries
Actually a solid flourish of character acting as Aoi assesses her putt
Aoi employs her “sports vision” to visualize the ball’s path to the hole. An easy enough way to conceptualize an expert player’s ability to gauge slope versus power, facilitated by this production’s general embracing of fantastical visual metaphors
Aoi’s apparent mother explains that she was born with two gifts – the blood of her own Amawashi dynasty, and the blood of her husband’s apparently hereditary golf powers
A framing that could easily support a contrast of inherited gifts (and wealth) versus Eve’s scrappy origins and hard-earned abilities
Ooh, this big band OP is a lot of fun. High-energy, anthemic, brimming with confidence – just the right tone for a story like this
The imagery makes the tonal contrast of our leads all the more obvious, with Aoi surrounded by icy blue crystals while a younger Eve stands proudly before a fiery backdrop
Though Aoi is framed as explicitly Japanese, our story takes place in the invented nation of “Nafrece,” likely to facilitate an entirely golf-centered culture. Kinda funny how stories like this tend to imply worlds where everyone is always thinking about their chosen sport constantly, much like how every single person in a Pokemon game only wants to talk about Pokemon
We get a nice pan over their current course, a well-tended and fairly approachable-looking set of holes. I wonder if we’re going the Sk8 the Infinity route of eventually setting up courses where balls must be shot over fiery pits and past lakes full of sharks
Pulling back a bit, we learn Aoi is here for the under-15 World Championship, whose competition apparently doesn’t thrill her
Aoi is of course dazzled by Eve’s swing, a love-at-first-sight revelation accompanied by drifting cherry blossoms. As I said last time, we’re clearly playing the hits here, and that’s fine by me
Amane already demonstrating her clear role as the commentator providing context for the audience, whether vocally or just in her head
“She doesn’t look like a golfer.” They’ve hit on this “she’s no golfer” refrain regarding Eve enough times that I could foresee some “the true nature of a golfer” philosophy coming down the road
“It was like the ball glowed blue when she hit it!” Aoi is apparently capable of recognizing nen powers
They move to the hardest hole, Hole 14, for their contest. Once again, I appreciate the effort they put into laying out the conditions and unique challenges of each individual hole – the division of duties between farcical set dressing and mechanically grounded contests is an essential balance for this sort of show
The hole is an L-shaped fairway set between a cliffside and forest. Presumably Eve will just be firing straight through the forest, while Aoi will employ the wind to send a dramatic curved shot along the cliff, with their choices thus demonstrating both their strategic and temperamental differences
“I ran countless simulations and couldn’t find one.” Amane neatly slipping into her archetype
As expected, Eve fires straight through the forest, ending up deep in the rough with 150 yards remaining
Aoi switches her drivers for the shot, once again evoking a fluid approach, in contrast with Eve’s proud “straight ahead” philosophy
Aoi reminisces about the “last time she played with father,” when she was apparently much younger. Thus her father presumably died young
“It’s reminding me how much fun golf is!” As expected, Aoi’s being set up as the one who will foster a true love of golf in Eve
Aoi pulls off an incredible slice shot, curving hard around the bend and using her momentum to roll practically all the way to the green
Amane reveals Aoi’s third gift – a true joy of golf that never falters under pressure. Thus she keeps up that smile at all times, crushing her opponents under the weight of her carefree exuberance
Apparently Aoi exploited the one route to an eagle – the slightly raised lip between the bunkers, where if your ball lands, it is rocketed at a much sharper angle down the field. The sort of shot where any variations in your landing might instead send your ball bouncing straight up or even off the field; you generally just have to pray to the golf gods to be merciful with shots like that, but Aoi can actually execute it with precision
I appreciate that her talent is actually a conceivable faculty, in contrast with Eve’s “I’ll just fire a golf ball through a fucking tree”
Eve then unveils her “Red Bullet,” which unfortunately lands in the rough just short of the green
She is stunned to for once be the piercee rather than piercer
Amane assumes Aoi’s carefree strength will deflate Eve, but of course it only fires her up all the more. Jeez Amane, is this your first time watching a JoJo golf match?
Aoi describes Eve’s style as “creative, aggressive golf,” which is a very flattering way to describe always firing directly at the hole no matter what
“Eve. No last name. Just Eve.” A choice that further emphasizes her outsider status, as someone who comes from nothing
Eve’s “Green Bullet” is, you guessed it, another straight shot right at the hole. This time, her shot bounces high off the small hill just before the green, but continues forward and hits the pin, only just bouncing outside of the hole. So presumably the different “bullets” are just the names for her three clubs?
We then cut to some rough customers engaging in illicit put-put under an overpass. This world is truly delightful
As expected, the game is rigged via magnets in the ball. Love the malevolent expressions of our petty mastermind
Eve of course sees this as a perfect opportunity to blow off some steam after her loss, firing the ball with such force that no magnets can stop it
She asks to see Rose Aleon, the apparent ringleader of this neighborhood’s golf extortion enterprises. It seems like she also dabbles in actually real crimes like illicit importing, given the garish collection of paintings, pottery, and giant tortoises ornamenting her office
Rose provides an exposé on Aoi, but advises Eve to steer clear of this surface-side rich girl
But Aoi made Eve promise to play her again sometime. Their bond cannot be denied!
Apparently Rose’s own boss is Catherine, the main sponsor of the Under-15 Tournament. Unsurprisingly, the criminal end of this enterprise is just a secret subdivision of the overall public-facing organization. We’ve basically just erased this distinction in the United States, with sports franchises actively promoting online betting because we live in Hell
“Ever since that day, it aches here. And it doesn’t stop.” Eve gestures towards her ominous origin story, which I presume involved her mentor being killed and eaten by a cannibal golf pro
And Done
Thus Eve at last breaks into the professional leagues, spurred on by both her newfound rivalry and the painful burdens of the past! Birdie Wing continues in its delightfully melodramatic manner as our leads first cross clubs, each of them clearly inspired by meeting a player so different yet so undeniably talented. Frankly, this episode wasn’t even particularly silly; excepting the inherent absurdity of Eve’s golf strategy, this was actually just a sturdy, well-executed first clash of sports rivals, which is truly the secret sauce enriching all the great shows in this genre. Larger-than-life embellishments are great, but the bones of your sports drama must still be strong, and this episode demonstrated Birdie Wing’s clearly got the goods. Onward to the Under-15 Tournament!
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