Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we’re taking a trip down to the race track, as we return to the equestrian escapades of Tokai Teio and her fellow horse girls. That’s right, it’s time for more Umamusume: Pretty Derby, and I have a feeling that this will be a particularly rough installment for our would-be champion. Having conquered the latest challenge in her pursuit of her idol Symboli Rudolf, she currently appears on top of the world – but given the ominous focus on her ankle that concluded our first episode, it’s clear she’s barreling towards a disastrous injury.
As for my own thoughts on all these urgent proceedings, I must say I’m still waiting to be hooked. I’ve enjoyed a fair number of comedy sports dramas, but so far remain unconvinced by Umamusume in terms of either its comedy or drama. I assume part of that comes down to the first episode’s busyness in terms of establishing all its players; the premiere’s endless procession of intricately designed horse girls felt like a perpetual reminder this is based on a gacha game, which is one of the surest ways to pull me out of a narrative. It’s also hard to believe in this world even on its own terms; our characters’ lives and aspirations feel so abstracted from human experience that I can’t really relate to Teio’s trials, and the show feels unconcerned with offering enough Girls und Panzer-style incidental pleasures to entertain if I’m not compelled by the character drama.
All that said, overstuffed first episodes are a common and entirely forgivable issue, and I imagine this season’s true strength will only be revealed once Teio’s wax wings start to melt. I’m not counting out these horse girls charming me yet, so let’s get back to the action and see what Teio gets up to next!
Episode 2
We begin right at the examination room, with Teio’s trainer having brought her in for an X-ray of her ankle
An odd quirk of this franchise’s idol-derivative origins is the framing of the “trainer” character, who basically subs in for the Producer in Idolm@ster and similar properties. Any adaptation of such a property necessarily has to grapple with the inherently imperfect translation of the games’ perspective character to an in-universe character with their own personality. On top of that, you’ve got the issue of so many gacha games essentially framing the perspective character as a quasi-romantic interest for all the girls, a choice whose messy implications become all the messier when that perspective character has their own theoretical agency. The answer many shows seem to arrive at is “have the characters redirect all the feelings they original aimed at the player towards each other,” resulting in a very different dynamic
Apparently she actually has a fracture already, and won’t be racing until spring of next year. I sorta figured her fall would occur during a race, but I suppose this is a gentler and funnier way to handle it
I feel like I’m having a bit of trouble calibrating my expectations for what scale and style of drama I should be expecting here, because sports dramas, idol dramas, character dramas, and slice of life productions all handle their narratives very differently. Sports and character dramas, particularly in anime, tend to be pretty hard on their characters, while idol and slice of life shows treat much smaller problems with much greater seriousness
Yeah, they’re playing a potentially career-ending injury as farce, and that just seems a little strange to me
Damn, the animation in this OP is clean as hell. This production can really pull off some gorgeous running animation when it wants to
And there’s Rice Shower, another clear favorite among my mutuals. Even for an idol drama, this is an amusingly Too Many Cooks-style OP
Teio declares that she still intends to run in the Kikkashou. I suppose her response makes more sense of the show’s tonal choices – she’s undeterred by this setback, and thus the production is as well
Ahaha, I love her team’s sad horse ears as they learn the news
Also still funny to me that every person in this world is obsessed with horse girl races
We are helpfully provided a clear timetable: the Kikkashou’s in November, and it’s currently June. That seems like a solid expedited timeline; if she’s supposed to wait until spring, November is severely pushing it, but not theoretically impossible
Her teammates are rightfully concerned about her theoretical early comeback
“If the doctor says it’s a no-go, you have to give it up.” This all does seem like quite fertile material for a season of drama. I’ve seen similarly effective arcs in both boxing and baseball narratives – the scope of our dreams crashing against the inevitable limits of our bodies, and the importance of understanding that we are more than our athletic performances. I’m quite curious to see if Umamusume of all things can explore charting a path beyond the racetrack
Sad Teio moping on the bench is very good
Ah, so it seems Rudolf isn’t necessarily class president, but actually school president. That timeline makes a lot more sense
Ooh, I quite like this. Teio starting with image training makes total sense, and what’s more, her explanation of her image training actually digs into the psychology of racing and the importance of knowing your competitors in a convincing way
McQueen engages in some shameless rival flirting before heading to the track
“How heavy are the dumbbells you lift, Teio?” Now that’s a left field reference
“It took me a while to get used to the food over here.” Suzuka doing her best to survive the Land of Burger
I appreciate that they actually dragged Gold Ship’s segway into the dorm somehow. I can see why she’s the meme favorite
Terrific detail that even the phone icon for this video chat is a mega-sized horse phone
A clean segue of perspectives leads us to Nice Nature in the locker room, now contemplating entering the Kikkashou herself. I suppose that would be an efficient way to manage this many characters – have each subgroup essentially provide one perspective character
God, Twin Turbo’s design is so much! Like they just emptied an entire box of charm points on one poor horse
Very efficient, convincing demonstration of Teio’s confidence inspiring others to greater heights. This episode seems much stronger than the first on basically every front – it indeed seems like the premiere was just forced to stretch itself too thin, and thus couldn’t offer extended, convincing character beats
McQueen lends Teio all the professionals her ojou-sama background can offer
“You’re gonna need to teach your leg again that it’s a runner’s leg!” Even on this expedited timeline, I appreciate the care we’re taking to illustrate every step of her recovery. “Just push through the pain” is awful advice for any athlete, but all too common in sports narratives
Lots of excellent indignant Teio expressions for her various unsatisfying training programs
Another fun background detail of all the horse girls in the cafeteria eating huge mountains of food
Nice Nature meets up with Teio for lunch and introduces a new team member, Ikuno Dictus. Her glasses are very impressive
Apparently they’re both on team Canopus. And yep, Dictus is indeed a glasses pusher extraordinaire
After an anxious montage bouncing between hopes and anxieties, we return to the hospital in late October, with the doctor seemingly offering some bad news
Oof, this closeup on Teio trying to keep it together. Yeah, I’m getting invested
Teio’s feelings of entrapment and desperation not to fall behind are hammered in moment by moment, as she must force herself to stop running while she sees her rivals charging forward
But seeing how hard her trainer is still working, she strives to put on a brave face for his sake. We’re really diving into the heartbreak of professional sports, as Teio is forced to prematurely embody a very different kind of strength from the ambition that informs her racing
These expressive horse ears are even funnier in serious moments. An excellent enduring bit
Smart sequence of cuts and sound design as the race begins. We first pan closer and closer in on Teio’s eyes as the moment approaches, emphasizing her full realization of her dream escaping her, and then cut to a low-angle shot behind her while muffling the sound, emphasizing both how she’s too stuck in her head to really parse the race, and also how it seems like her rivals are disappearing far into the distance
Teio’s image training now feels like a cruel trick, as she can easily imagine how she’d be approaching this race
“I won’t let anyone wonder how this would have turned out if Teio was running!” A sharp thought from Nice Nature, who understandably can’t feel good about racing under these conditions. Thus she must win so decisively that she defeats even the ghost of Teio
Terrific character acting for Teio all through this final stretch. You can really feel her struggling to look on the bright side, to hold herself together and act strong for her fellow competitors
Teio ultimately reflects that because she couldn’t compete, she’s still technically undefeated
And Done
Whew, that was excellent! An absolutely massive improvement over the first episode, and really just a strong slice of sports drama in any light, effectively highlighting the agony of injuries in a field where every second wasted feels like a chance slipping through your fingers. I appreciated the care with which this episode dug into the process of rehabilitation, and was genuinely swept away by the drama of that final race. I wouldn’t think a race our protagonist isn’t competing in could be such a dramatic highlight, but the production absolutely sold the frustrations of both Teio and her fellow racers, making for a powerfully bittersweet conclusion. Umamusume’s clearly got some tricks up its sleeve!
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